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The culture of the United States was truly initially born by the settling of the British, but has blossomed into something both parties would agree, is different than what the English live in on a daily basis. From the various forms of slang that both sides have, that the other most likely doesn't understand, to the differences in nomenclature for items, the worlds are similar, yet miles apart.

It's this distance, and this cultural difference, that lead Jake Starr to schedule his trip, along with pals David Helms and Thorn, to the "Motherland" of the United States, "jolly ole" England.

The trio landed, technically yesterday early in the morning, having received a friendly gesture of a private jet from Jake's long-time friend Agent oo6, which was able to make good time in transporting the three across the Atlantic Ocean. Upon landing that night, they checked into their room, and began their excursion after they had all had a bit of a nap to sleep off the jetlag.

The first trip was around the city to the various landmarks, which Jake has been photographing religiously. They then returned for their second night of slumber, and awoke this morning, to find Jake wide awake, and ready to go. His enthusiasm has begun to creep out Helms, wondering why Jake is so enthusiastic about going around the city of London.

Nevertheless, the two late-risers figure they're there to humor the former World Champion, and begin to wake up.

As the scene fades in the trio stand on a busy street in the heart of London England. They stand amidst all of the hustle and bustle of London's daily life, and have to avoid being trampled by those who actually know where they're going.

Jake stands in front of Helms and Thorn, wielding a large Nikon camera around his neck, complete with telephoto lens. He is constantly snapping pictures of the architecture, the people, the sky, the water, anything he deems "London-y." He has a large "giddy" grin on his face, as he almost smacks a woman in the face with his oversized lens.

Helms, unsure as to the reasoning for the sudden urge to be a freelance photographer, walks up and taps Jake on the shoulder.

David Helms: So... Umm... Is your plan for today to stand flat-footed in one spot, and take random photos all day?

Jake Starr: Nope! I was just getting more "culturally relevant" photos for my collection. But otherwise, I have a plan of attack for us today!

Helms's eyes immediately get large, and he looks over at Thorn.

David Helms: Dammit I told you! Here's comes the, "David you're now going to dress as the Queen Mum" idea!

Jake Starr: Nah... I promised no costumes...

David Helms: It was a jo...

Thorn gets Helms's attention and just shakes his head, trying to convey not to bother explaining.

Jake continues his "child-like" presence by resuming his photography practice.

Jake Starr: OH! THAT'S A GOOD ONE!

Thorn, realizing that it's probably a dangerous idea, decides to brave the uncertainty of Jake's "plan of attack" and inquire to its nature.

Thorn: So... The plan of attack is...?

Jake Starr: First... I want to find a good ole bloke, and introduce him to a bobby!

Jake's sudden vernacular change from "American English" to "British English" forces Helms's eyes wide open in shock.

Thorn: Umm... What?

Jake Starr: S'orate me old china!

Helms's mouth goes agape.

Jake Starr: Me goal is to find a bloody beefeater, and kick him square in the plonker!

Thorn: I think you've officially lost your mind my friend...

Jake Starr: BOLLOCKS!

Helms, still completely in shock, begins gently shaking his head.

David Helms: It's going to be a really long day!

Jake's tone continues on.

Jake Starr: Ya know, me mum once lived here! I'd love to find her flat!

Helms looks over at Thorn.

David Helms: I think you're right... He's officially gone mad...

As Helms delivers that statement to Thorn, Jake has wondered off amidst the crowd of Londoners, and has randomly begun saying hi to them, and calling them mates, chaps, and blokes. As Thorn and Helms hear this, they roll their eyes.

David Helms: Oh Jesus Christ...

The duo begin to weave their way through the sea of people crowding London's streets, still within earshot of Starr. As they get within feet of the former champion, Jake immediately points across the street.

Jake Starr: BOBBY!!

Jake, having seen a British policeman simply walking the sidewalks, begins tearing through the crowd.

David Helms: It's the clown experiment all over again!

Thorn: At least this time he won't think every cop is Lucas, and force me to videotape it...

The two catch up to Jake right as he corners the officer.

Jake Starr: Fancy a shot to the pills bobby?

The officer finds Jake's comments immediately insulting, and Thorn and Helms immediately redirect Jake in another direction. The officer begins to wonder if the man who said that to him was mentally retarded, and shrugs it off assuming such.

Once out of earshot of the officer, Thorn begins to question Jake.

Thorn: Dude! You could have gotten yourself f_cking arrested for that!

Jake Starr: Meh... The bobby knew I was only kidding...

David Helms: No... I don't think the bob...

Helms is annoyed he almost called the officer a "bobby" like Jake.

David Helms: ... The cop didn't think you were kidding!

Jake Starr: Ok ok ok fine! Relax! We'll just go onto the next thing on my "to do" list for the day...

David Helms: Which is...?

Jake Starr: I must get a grant to develop my silly walk while I'm here!

Thorn: You had to ask...

Jake walks ahead of the pair in an extremely silly fashion. Helms and Thorn slowly tail Jake, but try to avoid any thoughts that they're somehow associated with him.

David Helms: Sometimes I really wonder why I bother...

Thorn just shrugs and shakes his head. They begin to watch the locals give Jake odd and random looks. Some locals find it humorous, believing Jake is merely imitating the legendary sketch of the Monty Python Troupe.

As Jake continues to enhance his silly walk, Thorn and Helms keep him at a close enough distance to intervene if he gets himself in a "situation."

Out of nowhere, Jake does a complete about face, and freezes, staring at his two friends.

Jake Starr: Think the walk is silly enough?

David Helms: Silly wasn't the first word that came to mind!

Thorn elbows Helms in the side, and approaches Jake.

Thorn: Dude, what's this all about?

Jake Starr: We've been here numerous times for work, but we've never been long eonugh to truly know what it feels like to be a local on the streets.

Thorn: And you think this is how locals are?

Jake Starr: Yep... And I want to feel like one!

Thorn: I get that, but why the...

Jake immediately has an odd facial expression come across his face.

Thorn: What's that face mean?

Jake Starr: Sorry mate! I puffed a dart! Now, what were you saying?

Thorn's head immediately drops, and he scratches his head, wondering what he has to do to get through to his friend. His head springs back up.

Thorn: Dude... This whole get-up, the walks, the talking, the camera, what's it about?

Jake Starr: Me trying to understand Lucas better!

Thorn: How is that supposed to make you understand him?

Jake Starr: I figure if I'm going to understand how a poofter works, you have to walk in their shoes!

Helms immediately facepalms himself behind Thorn.

Jake Starr: We only have two more places, then we can head for the airport and go home...

Thorn: Where's...

David Helms: Please don't ask him... I'm honestly scared for our safety if we know in advance...

Jake immediately understands what Thorn was planning on asking, and answers the incomplete question.

Jake Starr: Next up is finding the TARDIS!

Helms throws his hands out to his side in complete disbelief.

David Helms: For f_ck's sake man!

Jake Starr: Oh stop being a yank!

Jake begins walking and scouring for the infamous blue police box, with Helms and Thorn trailing a bit behind.

David Helms: He's going to drive me to alcoholism!

Jake, from several paces ahead yells back at them.

Jake Starr: I HEARD THAT!

Thorn tries again to calm David down.

Thorn: Just look at this as an adventure man! Try and relax! You're not being forced to dress up!

David Helms: No... But I am going to end this once and for all...

Helms quickens his pace, and speeds up behind Jake. He puts his hand on Jake's shoulder, halts him, and spins him around.

David Helms: Listen... I'm your friend, your brother, whatever, but this charade is driving ME mad, and I'm having very little to do with it. I understand you're trying to find yourself, or find what will help you, but listen man, this game is done! The TARDIS isn't real!

Jake looks at Helms confused.

Jake Starr: Of course it is!

David Helms: No... Jake... It isn't! It's from a television show!

Jake Starr: No... It's real!

David Helms: It isn't!

Jake Starr: It is!

David Helms: Isn't!!

Jake Starr: IS!

David Helms: Isn't dammit!

Jake Starr: Ok if it isn't then what is that?

Jake spins Helms around, and across the street stands a blue police box, with similar markings to that of the one in the famed television show Doctor Who. At the same time Helms is staring at an old police box that's still standing, fans of the Python Troupe begin galloping down the street in full "Holy Grail" regalia, and complete with coconuts.

Jake Starr: I suppose that's not the King either huh?

Helms, again, throws his arms out to his side in utter disbelief of the situation as a whole.

David Helms: I seriously give up!

Jake grins.

Jake Starr: Ah! Now we're down to one final place.

Helms, having given up begins walking away, and back toward their hotel so he can leave. Thorn catches Helms by the shirt collar, and is pulled back to the group.

As Jake walks off again, Helms reluctantly follows Thorn as they follow Jake down a staircase, and in front of a sign marking an entrance into the famous London Underground. As Jake sees the sign, he puts his hand on the sign, and begins to grin. He slowly turns around and faces the camera, and begins to speak out.

Jake Starr: So here we are... The infamous London Underground. The set of scenes in such great movies as Die Another Day, V for Vendetta, The Good Shepherd, and Atonement... And also a "political movement," if you've seen A Fish Called Wanda. It's also the site where the music video for Firestarter by Prodigy was filmed. It's one of the primary transit systems in the Greater London Area. And it's a mentality that I will soon be embracing.

See, I came here for a reason...

To begin with, it's a symbolic representation of what is to come Sunday at Apocalypse. Jake Starr walks into the arena as a challenger in a division he's never set foot in, nor does he have the "SCW Qualifications" to say he's worthy of being in, for that matter. But nevertheless, Jake Starr enters the world of the Underground against it's King, it's leader, it's ruler. He's a man who has done NOTHING but show he's dominant, and worthy of being the "top cock of the wok" in the world of the violent.

It is here I stand, in the world of the London Underground, that I take my symbolic "first steps" into the world to which I am not familiar. I take the symbolic steps into the world to which I will soon become a long-standing member of because I will soon be the one looking down at those who try and dethrone the champion. At Apocalypse, this world of the Underground will have someone else to chase, and the hunted, will become another hunter.

This world is unfamiliar to me, and that's why, when I was given the opportunity to choose a location to visit and relax, I saw no better place than London. I wanted to learn as much as I could about this world, and about this lifestyle, so that I could adequately know what to expect. I wanted to see the world in which Lucas and his ilk live, and how they thrive. I wanted to feel the sensations they feel. I wanted to emerse myself in the world to which I plan on ruling after Sunday.

So I came here...

I wanted to see the sights, hear the sounds, and feel the world of London, and culminate that journey right in front of this sign. It brought me back to reality. It brought me back from that euphoric state of tourism. And that's what I had hoped it would do. I wanted to enjoy my brief stay in the United Kingdom, or the "Motherland" to us Americans, but I wanted it to end with me knowing what I had to return home for. I didn't want to get home, and regroup myself with hours to spare. I wanted to do it now. I wanted to do it right here, where it matters, in the home of the champion himself...

... And here I am. Where is he?! Where is this Lord of the Underground? This is his world, am I right? Symbolically at least! Nevertheless, being here, taking in his culture, understanding his mental state, and walking in his footsteps has given me a sense of what to expect.

I've heard his comparisons of our careers. I've heard how he said he, like me, didn't receive his rematch as he should have. But the comparisons of our careers seemingly go in opposite directions at that juncture. He's done much with the Underground Division, and has lifted it to a status among the superstars in the back that is well respected. He may have built this division into one of competitiveness, but he's done it with the aide of others. While he may have a record that shows substantially more wins than losses, he's done it with the aide of others. Hence, the changing of directionality of our careers. See, when I had the Adrenaline Championship, I defended it time after time after time. I beat "legends" like, Christian Savior, Stacy Kissinger, James Exeter, and Justin Davis, you know, the guy who has helped him in the past. None of them stood to take it from me. And I did it all alone.

So we're somewhat similar...

We're almost two of a kind...

We've almost had similar paths...

We've now established that!



Now, onto the differences that don't involve honorable championship defenses, or making a name on your own. Lucas wasn't pleased with my little video demonstration on Ammo. I haven't a clue why. Or maybe I do. Maybe it's because I used my brain, got him to openly not use his, and then subsequently mocked him mercilessly for it? Maybe it's because he got to watch how ridiculous his facial expressions look in slow motion? I'm assuming it's one of those reasons.

See, he is a guy who is an, "act first, think later," kind of guy. He doesn't like to trouble himself with the idea of thought. I've learned it's a character flaw among the extremely cocky limeys in this country. They seemingly don't want to have to contemplate whether or not things are smart or a good idea, so they just act on them, and then later when they have a moment, they'll ponder it. I'm not that way! I'm one of those guys who can pick a guy like Lucas apart any day of the week, twice on Friday, and thrice on Saturday. I can see their pet peeves, and I can exploit them...

... And I personally think I do a damn good job at it!

Lucas, however, begs to differ.

In his eyes, since I am the SCW's proverbial "trump card," I have disgraced myself as being the hero by mocking him...

Jake shakes his head, completely taken back by the comment he just made. He looks over at Helms, who's leaning against a wall, and Helms simply shrugs, gesturing he doesn't understand it either.

Jake Starr: Wait... What? I've disgraced myself by mocking HIM? Yeah, umm, not so much! How is making a mockery of someone who, for one, the fans loathe the existence of, and for two, is a walking mockery himself, a disgrace? If ANYTHING, it's one of those things I could be criticized as doing that's "too easy." He's an easy target. Really! He opens his mouth, says some...

Oh how can I make this sound like it fits?

Ah yes...

He opens his mouth, and all that ever comes out is a load of rubbish. Nothing of any substance or value, and the fans love to see that mocked, because having to listen to it, gives them the feeling they, themselves, are being mocked. The fans want to see guys like him knocked down a few pegs, with the HOPE that one day, maybe, if we're all lucky, he'll grow a brain.

Another example he's brainless is the fact he's made the audacious claim I have become what I have always despised. Anyone, and I do in fact mean ANYONE, with a brain would have seen the PARODY nature of my comments, and also understood that I was making a point. Sadly, it zoomed in one of his ears, had no obstruction in getting to the other side, and escaping to unadulterated freedom.

And I hate to say it, but unfortunately, as "luck" would have it, he's not one of the candidates in line for a brain transplant, so there goes that idea. Onto plan B I suppose...

Jake shrugs again, and this time looks at both Thorn and Helms, who both shake off any notion of having an idea of how to solve Jake's conundrum with Lucas and his brain.

Jake Starr: Well that's no help... Maybe since he has no brain, I can start calling him Lucas the Shoe!

Thorn and Helms have looks of complete confusion on their face.

Jake Starr: Oh c'mon... He's British, and his last name is Knight, c'mon? You don't remember the old school British Knights?! Dude! The BK's predated the Pumps!


See, as I stand here in the "hallowed halls" of the London Underground, I realize that this is my opportunity to climb back up on my horse, and show the world I still have what it takes. The Shoe, in his finite bits of wisdom, questioned my reasoning for thinking maybe my time is up, and I'm just like the man whose career I cut short. I'm not... See Hudson knew when his last match was, and when he was leaving. I, however, have never set that date up for myself. I have never wanted to pick a day and end my career because I know if I did, that day would be the wrong day. It'd be too early, or too late. I've been in this business FAR LONGER than The Soleless Shoe, and accomplished far bigger things.

Hell, you can put the careers of Hudson and Lucas together, and you still haven't matched me...

But the fact is, there comes that point in everyone's life when they have to make a decision, whether it's a good one or a bad one. They have to look at their career as it stands that day, and decide if they should continue on. This year has been on that's been unkind to me, by my standards. This year has not given me the waves of success I have become used to in my career. It's forced me to look at it from a different light, for the first time ever. It has forced me to question whether or not I'm truly capable of being the competitor I HAVE TO BE in order to truly feel I belong. If I can't compete at that level, I don't want to be here...

Jake slowly approaches the camera, and his tone of voice lowers to a much more somber tone.

Jake Starr: It's a mentality that I've always had, and will always continue to have. A loss may not signify an end for some, but for others, like me, it forces question. It forces doubt. When you've done what I've done, a loss is more than just a loss. When your standards are where mine are, a loss isn't just a loss. I won't compromise my standards simply to stay around, nor would I expect it out of any other superstar.

That's just how I am...

Jake begins to back away from the camera, and tries to shift his mood back to where it was.

Jake Starr: ... Now with all of the differences being out there, the contradictions on the table, the rebuttals dubiously stated, I'll be honest, Lucas was right on something. When he questioned my reasoning for considering abandoning this career if I lost, he said something profound. He said something quite, truthful. It was if, the Soleless Shoe was touched by God, and handed the divine intervention of COMMON F_CKING SENSE for one statement...

... it doesn't signify the end, only the start of something new.

Profound words! A loss won't mean a disaster of biblical proportions. It won't mean Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff. It won't be fire and brimstone coming down from the skies, rivers and seas boiling, forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes, the dead rising from the grave, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, or MASS HYSTERIA!

Jake grins, and looks back at Thorn and Helms who both begin to chuckle. Over his shoulder he comments to his brethren.

Jake Starr: ... It's not everyday you get to quote Ghostbusters when doing a shoot, huh?

Thorn and Helms both begin to laugh some more, as does Jake. He then shifts his attention back to the camera, and he tries to keep himself from laughing some more.

Jake Starr: ... It won't be that! It won't be chaos in my life. It'll just be something new. It'll be Jake going home to his family, enjoying his retirement pension, and chronically masturbating to girls with daddy issues on their webcams...

Helms cocks an eyebrow at Jake's comment in shock.

Jake Starr: ... It's as simple as that! But believe me, Apocalypse won't be the point at which I go home, and contemplate this choice in career. But it will be that new beginning. It'll be that new beginning where Jake Starr reigns over a new division, as he continues his quest for the Holy Grail of professional wrestling. It'll be that rebirth of a legend, and the second coming of greatness.

Jake, again, approaches the camera, and softens his tone.

Jake Starr: Knight... I'm looking right at you. When you step into that ring, I whole-heartedly suggest you "mind the gap" with me talent wise. Because your championship becomes mine, and your days as "King of the Underground," end.

God save the Queen f_cker... God save the Queen!

Jake turns around and walks back toward the London Underground sign. He pats it with his hand, and immediately walks up the staircase he had descended down, and is immediately followed by his two comrades. As they walk up the stairs, Jake looks back at Thorn.

Jake Starr: NOW we can go home... But you're driving to the airport!

Thorn: Why?

Jake Starr: I hate those damn flappy-paddle gear boxes!

Helms simply rolls his eyes.

They continue their ascension out of "The Tube" and as they reach the top, a local man walks toward the trio. Jake looks over at Thorn and Helms, and gets his sly grin on his face, which immediately worries them both. Jake walks right up to the man, and immediately tries to stir up a conversation with him.

Jake Starr: Oy gov'nah!

Local: Yellow!

Jake Starr: Me and the lads are off down the Rat and Parrot for a few Dame Edna's and a Gay and Frisky!

Local: Oy!

Jake Starr: Rattle and hum eh?

Local: Nay! Gotta do some Kathy Burke!

Jake Starr: Eh?

Local: Eh!

Jake Starr: I can't be bothered to go to Captain Kirk, think I'll pull a Metal Mickey!

The man looks around at Helms and Thorn standing behind Jake.

Local: They are a bit Darren Day?

Jake Starr: Nay! Trouble and Strife's on the George Michael!

As the two continue to carry on, Helms and Thorn just stare at Jake, and have no clue whatsoever as to what's being said. It's as if Jake has gone into a dialect of Swahili that only a few select natives could ever understand.

Local: Bet she's up for ant n decs 'en eh?

Jake begins to laugh, and thinking they're supposed to, Thorn and Helms join in the jovial mood.

Jake Starr: Or some Advice from Mother!

The local begins laughing again.

Local: Time to Botany Bay before me Plates of Meat begin killin' me!

Jake Starr: Oy! Good on ya mate!

Local: Oy!

The local man begins to walk away, and Thorn and Helms both stare at the man horrified at the banter they just heard, and the complete lack of sense it made to them. As the local passes them both, they, in tandem, slowly turn their heads back to Jake, with the same completely befuddled expressions on their face. Thorn is first to begin blinking, and actually the first to speak as well.

Thorn: Umm... What was that about?

Jake Starr: Just chatting with one of the locals...

Thorn: That wasn't a "chat..."

Jake Starr: Sure it was!

Helms shakes his head, as if coming out of a trance.

David Helms: No... That was inane babbling with no sense being made at all!

Thorn: Besides... Where in the HELL did you learn that jive?

Jake reaches in his backpack and pulls out a book.

Jake Starr: This book... Cockney Slang for Dummies! I read it on the flight over!

Thorn: ... And you just now decided to start throwing out these random words?

Jake Starr: Figured we're about to leave anyway, might as well not waste the learning!

Helms rubs his eyes with one hand.

David Helms: I swear Jake, sometimes you really make my head hurt!

Thorn: So... What did you say?

Jake Starr: Hell I don't know...

Jake shrugs and walks off as the scene begins to fade to black. Jake has made it clear that this match could spell a turning point in his career, not just in Supreme Championship Wrestling, but in professional wrestling in general. He knows he faces a man who has made a name for himself defeating those who cross his path, and only falling on a few occasions. He knows he's facing a man willing to do anything to win. He knows he's facing a man who is much like himself.

The question is, can he beat this man.

With Apocalypse just over the horizon, the answer will be clear soon. If Jake emerges victorious, a new era will begin in SCW and its Underground Division. It'd also send a clear message up the ladder than Jake Starr is, indeed, back on his game, and heading for the top. A loss, however, could send Jake into a realm that he is unfamiliar, and send his mental status into a far greater sinkhole than it already is, nullifying the progress he's made thus far. One way or another, Apocalypse will shape the future landscape of Supreme Championship Wrestling for many months to come, and could drastically change the look and feel of the roster it employs.


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