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For the former SCW World Champion, the recent nights have been restless and filled with very little sleep. He's tossed and turned, tried to get comfortable, but seemingly always sees pictures and scenes that show many of his deepest and darkest fears.

He's seen death.

He's seen destruction.

He's seen divorce.

He's seen abandonment.

He's seen cheating.

He's seen it all.

In the end, he knows it's all in his mind, but the vivid images remain.

He knows he can't allow them to completely derail him mentally, but he knows they've been having an effect on him.

So he has begun to do whatever he can to find the root-cause of the nightmares, and try and snuff them out at the source. He has done much digging within his own mind, and within the events of late, and only come up with a few potential issues that could be the trigger.

He also knows he has to look at his professional life as well. It's the source his family depends on financially, and what is his best mental "break" from the world...

Or so he thinks...

With Dillusion lurking over the horizon, as Jake's next opponent in Supreme Championship Wrestling, Jake knows he has his work cut out for him. Dillusion comes into this match bringing his unique and awkward persona, in the hopes of forcing Jake off of his game.

It's a ploy Jake cannot fall for...

As the scene fades in, Jake, as has become a reoccurring event lately, sits in his office, in almost pure darkness, with only the lamp on his desk providing any illumination. All night he has been pondering the reasoning behind these dreams, with the hopes of coming up with the answer.

One possible answer he has continued to ponder, seemingly has inspired him, and lead him to relate it towards his upcoming match up. In fact, he sees many ways it applies.

As the camera begins to zoom in on the non-shaven, sleep-lacking, superstar, he slowly begins to look up at the camera. He gives a slight smirk, and begins speaking.

Jake Starr: Have you ever heard the retort, when someone says they "assume" something, that states, "You know what assuming does right? It makes an ASS out of U and ME?" Usually that's followed by someone snickering because they think they were really clever, and the first one to actually say it to you.

Well, I'll presume everyone is on the same page, and has heard it.

In presuming we're all on the same page, I simply ask, since I'm about to ASSUME something, don't try and be cutesy by coming up with that "gem" of a retort.

... There's one person in particular who'd probably say that, or throw out a rule about it, and I namely speak to him, but we'll directly bring him in later...


So... We're good?



Now, in prefacing with that, I assume it's safe to say that, like me, everyone was once a child. I don't think there is anyone who was miraculously born into a teenage or adult body, although with the way science is, you never can be sure.


In assuming everyone was once a child, I also feel it is safe to assume that at some point in time you heard the same phrase I did, "Maybe you're trying too hard?"

I'm going to safely assume you did.

I can honestly say, I heard it several times, for several reasons.

One of the first times I ever heard it was back when I was in Little League. I was the catcher for the Northern Rangers, and dammit, I was pretty damn good at it! My main issue, seemingly, was batting. I always was doing the old "swing-for-the-fences" routine. Well finally, my coach pulled me aside and said, "Jake, maybe you're trying too hard to hit the ball. Why not just go out there, and make contact?"

Yeah... Sure!

At least, that was my initial thought. See, I was a kid who knew I knew better about everything. I knew that if I just went out there and tried to make contact, didn't swing for the fences, and called it good, I'd be one of those kids getting a trophy simply for participation.

So, I decided, I'd show him!

I went out there, and I thought to myself...

Jake does his best impression of Emeril Legasse.

Jake Starr: "SELF! We're going to focus on the ball, make contact, and show him it won't work!"

Jake returns to his normal tone and rhythm of speech.

Jake Starr: So I did that. I went to the plate, got a fastball low and away, focused on it, put the bat on the ball, and cleared the center field wall.

No really... It's a true story...

The best part of it was, I didn't try too hard! And it took until I was about to round third, and head for home, that my coach realized "Holy crap, Jake just hit a homerun!"

And for the rest of that season, I followed the same mentality!

But... I can honestly say, it didn't teach me for all of my life. Because there was another time, this time in a non-sports related situation, where I really found myself, well, trying too hard, and it's a whole situation very few people know about.

See, when I first met Roeper, I looked at her, and before I knew her name, I looked to a friend of mine, at the time, and said, "I'm going to marry that woman!" And, well, I kind of shot myself in the foot and it ended up happening.

But it wasn't a smooth road getting there.

From the minute we actually met, and got to know one another, I pursued her without any hesitation. I made it ABUNDANTLY clear I was interested in her, and she made it abundantly clear, she wasn't interested in me. But nevertheless, we kept getting to know one another, and our relationship began to slowly grow.

Then, a mutual acquaintance came along, and told me I was trying too hard, and due to that, I never would have a shot.

So... I trusted him, and moved on.


First off, yes I was trying too hard. I was basically trying to force something that wasn't supposed to happen yet. And when it began to, and I missed the cues, and decided to go date another girl, BOY did Roeper get pissed.

She shut off all contact for roughly a few weeks, and then finally came to me, got in my face, and said "I was just waiting for you to finally ask me out."

Talk about a true "F_CK ME!" moment.

Needless to say, all panned out in the end.

And after these examples, I'm sure everyone is wondering where exactly I'm going with this.

Two places...

First, let's begin with the big picture, then we'll narrow it down to a specific person.

Lately, I haven't really been on my game. I haven't really been myself. My mind has begun to do things that, honestly, I haven't seen or felt in years. From realizing it was time to bring the Social Misfits era to a close, to losing my SCW Championship at Tactical Warfare, to FINALLY shutting Jason Zero up about being "entitled" to the IWC Championship, and subsequently losing it in the same night, it's just not been something that really has fit with what I'm used to doing around here, and since I came back.

Honestly, I haven't been able to pinpoint why any of this has unfolded in the manner it has.

Then, you have my nights plagued with images that depict my worst fears, it's like, everything just is crumbling around me.

So I forced myself to begin to try and really cipher out what it all means.

All I can say is, maybe, just maybe, it's been because I've been trying too hard to do something I'm not supposed to do. Or I'm trying too hard to be someone I'm not. Maybe I'm trying too hard to push myself to a degree I shouldn't.

Those, to me, are the only explanations that make any sense whatsoever. I know I have the talent. I know I can win. I know I can be a champion. I know, simply, I'm capable.

But yet, I've still tripped lately, more so than ever before.

Jake rubs his face in his hands, hoping he can come to a clear thought.

Jake Starr: I... I just don't know...

Maybe it's the fact that everything, for me, here in SCW, happened so quickly. Maybe it was the shear speed of my rise that forced me into a mentality that said I had to push myself to the degree that I did. Maybe that's why I felt I had to try that hard.

I just don't really know...

... And that frustrates me... Why can't I have figured these answers out, and gone into Taking Hold of the Flame, and done what I knew I wanted to do?

Then again... Maybe it's a blessing in disguise?

Jake shrugs.

Jake Starr: ... It could very well be. I just don't know...

It could be a way of fate taking hold of me, and trying to show me that I don't need to try that hard, or overdo it, and maybe it's just a way of fate trying to get me back into the form I was in, that ultimately elevated me to the status I grew into?

Jake shrugs again.

Jake Starr: I wish I had the answer to that dilemma. It'd make things a HELL of a lot easier on me. It'd make things really come into perspective, and maybe then, I'd be able to have more success at achieving what I want?

I guess, ultimately, we'll wait and see...

... But, as many know in this business, there's no downtime. There is no waiting period to figure things out. You have to keep pressing forward, while trying to seek the answers simultaneously.

Which brings me to the second place I was going to with the idea of trying too hard.

My opponent...

Jake pauses, and simply nods.

Jake Starr: ... Yes... Dillusion himself. A man who I, in all honesty, believe the phrase, "trying too hard," was made for.

How, you ask so nicely?

Well, let's have a look at his name shall we?

... The name, Dillusion...

When you hear the word, you think of the word DELUSION, meaning, "an erroneous belief that is held in the face of evidence to the contrary." You think of someone who may have a psychological disorder, forcing them into stages of mental instability, and erratic behavior. You think of a human being potentially suffering through hallucinations, and beliefs that nobody can understand but them.

I know I definitely believe the same thing!

The first time he and I met up, I even said that.

I had never heard him talk. I had never heard his persona. All I knew is that I was stepping into the ring with a guy named Dillusion. So, instinctively, I believed I was going up against someone dark, twisted, demented, et cetera. You name the adjective, I believed it.

I guess here is where you could throw the cliche about assuming in if you want...

But then, the oddest thing happened. He opened his mouth, and I saw exactly what he truly was.

He was someone who simply, well, tries too hard...

When we first met, he wanted to be goofy, and sound like, what I bet he believes, is a crazy person. He wanted people to believe he sees things others can't, had imaginary friends, smells farts when nobody's around, believes he's Godly, anything! You name it, he probably would try and convey it. In fact, he did so in such a ridiculous manner, it wasn't even believable. It was more along the lines of someone trying to be funny, trying to do something outrageous, and simply failing on all accounts.


So, he realized that he needed more ways to try and make people believe he was this DELUSIONAL human being. And what better way than to bastardize the word, and make it your moniker?


It's like the wrestling world trying to come up with someone who's a grotesque human being, and using a name like Bastion Booger; trying to dress someone like a mummy/abominable snowman, and using the name The Yeti; or how about having someone dress up like a stodgy tax man and naming him IRS; what about a guy who steals things being called the Repo Man; better yet, a guy dressed from the late 60s, having the Happy Days hair cut, dancing like John Travolta, and calling him Disco Inferno?

Oh wait... Those were all over the top gimmicks actually done in the business too.

Well the congratulations to Dillusion for being now lumped into that world.

Yes, the name simply was his way of trying to give his "outrageous" mentality away, and then giving him creative license to just say whatever he wants.

It's all his way of showing he is trying too hard, to be something, we all know, he isn't!

Jake chuckles to himself.

Jake Starr: ... And then he decides he needs to be even MORE outrageous and shocking, and tries to play the "I'm going to tear down the 4th wall" game. Wow... Haven't I seen that somewhere before?

Oh yeah me...


He has decided to start prefacing anything he says with a list of rules that he expects people to abide by, so that he knows he's in control of what people think about him, say about him, or expect from him.

All it's done for me is make me realize how juvenile he is...

Seriously... He tries to give himself some sort of legitimate say in how people look at him, by giving these rules that, I can guarantee, he expects people to adhere to. In a sense... He's broken character. He's left the world of being Dilly "The Wonder Loony," and become Dillusion "The Method Actor."



He tries to play this business off as a game, in the hopes that ANYONE who slams him for his pointless, inane, unbelievable, babble will have the joke on them.

Ladies and gentlemen... Dillusion, in my opinion, has officially JUMPED THE SHARK!

The guy sucks, face it. He's trying, and failing, at entertaining people, and quite frankly, putting people to sleep instead. He openly admits he's already lost to me, and he knows, inevitably, it's going to happen again. He has sent pleas to the "powers that be" to aide him in his struggles, and aide him in his continual string of losses, and guess what...

No seriously... Guess!

Let's play Dillusion's game, because he's wacky and crazy, so he likes guessing games!

No, I'll wait, I have all the time in the world...

Jake pauses, and stares at the camera. He continues to wait, leaving a lengthy, and definitely uncomfortable period of dead air, knowing that Dillusion is currently trying to guess what he's going to say next.

Finally, after roughly one minute of complete silence, dead air, and Jake looking around the room just waiting, and proving he can do random things too, he finally decides enough time has passed.

Jake Starr: Ah good. Now, I hope Dillusion has his guesses ready, written down, folded 37 times, not in half by the way, just 37 folds, written in a combination of blood, fecal matter, boogers, and pubic hair, and scented with any combination of arsenic, ricin, botulism, or anthrax.

If not, I'll give you time now...

Again, Jake allows an uncomfortable amount of time to pass, while he gives Dillusion enough time to review his answers, and the requirements they must follow. He even begins to twiddle his thumbs, and tap his foot, as time passes.

As had happened before, enough time passes.

Jake Starr: Excellent! Now... The answer to the guessing game is...


Jesus, this guy is simply one of the most idiotic, pointless, and DUMB guys I have ever seen in this business. Nobody... I MEAN NOBODY... Has ever openly annoyed me as much as he has. It isn't because he thinks he's talented. It isn't because he thinks he can beat me. It is because this ACT he puts on, is a disgrace to this business, and ultimately a waste of MY TIME.

Do you know what I could be doing with my time, instead of having to trudge through the bullsh!t he spews against me? Seriously! I have bigger things to deal with than someone who can't take anything seriously, unless in involves his own penis.

GOD is it annoying!

The guy has resorted to BEGGING and PLEADING for those in charge to allow him to win. It's like he's admitting how awful he knows he is, how fortunate he is to even have ANY right to claim he's a former World Champion, and how he knows this match will come out in the end.

He also thinks he knows the English language, and made a pun, which he didn't!

Jake takes a deep breath, hoping to calm himself down.

Jake Starr: But I digress... My opponent is someone who brings shame to SCW, and ultimately, I wish would go the way of Porno Lad, and LEAVE. He's not funny, he's not witty, he's not creative, he's merely a shame to look at.

Dillusion can go about his repetitive banter about a resemblance to someone who has about as much relevance to this organization as he does, and I don't care. He knows, just like I know, I'm the most talented, the most skilled, and the most impressive superstar in this organization. If I resemble anyone, it is they who should be honored, not me.

I'm the one who's forced people to put me in their crosshairs from day one.

I'm the one who rose to the top of the rankings, and shut up those who said I was, as Dillusion said himself, "lame."

All I can say is, if I'm so lame, why have I continued to garner more and more fans? Why have I continued to actually WIN? It's simple... I'm that f_cking good! And if he wants to tear down "fourth walls," here's one for him... Let's just say many don't respect Dillusion for anything he might have earned when he actually "tries," and flat out believe he kissed enough ass to get his way to the top. Honestly... I kind of agree with that. A true CHAMPION, wouldn't half-ass anything, anytime, anywhere, under ANY F_CKING NAME!

Anyway... I'll let him commence putting that wall back up now...

The fact of the matter is... At Breakdown, I cannot wait to use Dillusion, a man-joke, one of those people many mock behind his back, and a pure retard, as an example. If I've been trying too hard to force myself into a position I wasn't supposed to be in yet, then it's time I do it the way I got there originally. By stepping up, night after night, match after match, and amass win after win.

I may have tried too hard in the past, but now, I'm simply keeping my eye on the ball, and making contact. The ball, Dillusion's "pride," the bat, my ability to send guys like him packing...

Jake, obviously very annoyed, and very distraught at the comments made by his upcoming opponent at Breakdown. His mood has definitely taken a turn, and one wonders if it has to do with the sleepless nights, and the apparent nightmares that have plagued his sleep. Regardless, he had very stern and choice words for Dillusion, made no secret of his opinion of the fellow SCW employee, and ultimately made it clear that he intends on making his opponent the first example on his path back to the top.

The questions still remain though...

Have these issues caused him to feel the need to unveil a side of him SCW fans, and superstars alike, haven't ever seen?

Will he show the world that his thought of possibly "trying too hard" has been the reason he wasn't able to retain or regain the SCW Championship? Or will he continue to fish for answers, and try and find the root-cause of his recent slide?


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