Personal Bio Wrestler Bio
RP Archive Affiliates
Contact Me
Breakdown is now in the rear view mirror of Supreme Championship Wrestling, and the car is driving head first into Gang Rulz.

Jake Starr knows he has a full plate ahead of him. Not only does he have Katie Steward, he has James Exeter. He has SOME solace knowing Steward's "Brat Pack" is barred from ringside, but that doesn't negate their abilities to be a force. Jake has a crystal clear memory of Damian Angel playing a vital role in his match against James Exeter without being at ringside, so the solace comes only to a point.

Even with the omission of the "Brat Pack" from ringside, Jake knows that Damian Angel isn't barred, but neither is Brandon Evans. He hopes that will negate the effect Angel could potentially have.

Nevertheless, Jake knows the pressure is on him in this match. He has proved his dominance over the Adrenaline Championship, and now he must begin his quest to do the same with the SCW World Championship.

If he wants to be seen as the powerhouse he feels he is, this is the perfect scenario to do so. Both Steward and Exeter are seen as the cream of the crop in SCW, and a victory over both, in one match, would cement his name within the true elite of the SCW current and all-time rankings. He sees that very goal as his next accomplishment in Supreme Championship Wrestling.

Jake Starr: Boy... Breakdown really left something to be desired, don't you think? I mean, what really happened? My night began, having to look at Daddy D, and his personal "Cherry Poppin' Daddy," and concluded with some people I have never heard of getting involved in a match belonging to the Social Misfits. It's sad, really. I was hoping to have Katie and her personal "Whore Corp" come marching down to the ring, so that we may give them a little bit of a chance to see what Gang Rulz will be like.

Sadly that didn't happen.

What DID happen afterwards, meaning sometime last night when normal people are sleeping, and others are gallivanting around with people sucking up to them, acting like their "Queens" and "Goddesses," and all-in-all helping all narcoleptics learn to sleep, Katie decided to grace the airwaves with her presence.

Oh wait... All of those prior descriptions were part of Katie's debauchery-laden promo... My bad!

See the problem is, I see so many of these feeble attempts at being relevant, coherent, funny, important, and just out-right interesting, I begin to forget who did what. So my apologies for forgetting that it was, indeed, Katie's horse sh!t that inevitably cured one of the most chronic sleeping disorders on the planet.

Thanks to several energy drinks, that I'm not allowed to mention by name because they don't pay SCW advertising fees, I was able to actually survive sitting through Katie's drivel, and I came to some resounding conclusions...

To begin with... She's a delusional dyke...

See, she got on her soapbox about how she's going to become a "Supreme Queen," and SCW Champion. Both of those, right there, show how lost she truly is.

Let's begin with the first delusion there... As everyone may recall, when Brandon punted her where her twat was supposed to be, he felt something. I'm sure it wasn't the "Lady Gaga," where it's just an oversized clitoris. She's either a hermaphrodite, or a man in drag. Therefore, the conclusion is, she has already achieved her goal of being the "Supreme Queen" long ago. It isn't a goal she must make an effort to achieve. She's already there! She's got the male genitalia already! Congrats to Katie on, hopefully, realizing she's already won that battle!

Part two of her delusions of grandeur involve MY SCW Championship.

That delusion is one that is down-right insane. Seriously! It is one that would get a normal human being committed to the loony bin. It rivals a delusion of saying "I am God, the Supreme Being, the Creator," and we know nobody thinks that way around here...

Oh wait... Never mind...

Anyway... Katie Steward believes THIS TIME is going to be the time she "rises to greatness" in SCW. All of her hopes and dreams lie at Gang Rulz. But the delusions cloud her ability to make rational thoughts. If they didn't she'd realize she has no chance. She'd realize this isn't her "shining moment" here. Quite frankly, she should merely be thankful she's been granted another shot, instead of being a delusional venereal disease, that threatens the health of every single SCW star she enters the vicinity of.

The next conclusion I came to was that she apparently has this sense of jealousy for imaginary people.

She went off about these two figments of her imagination having won the World Championship this year, and I haven't a clue who either of them are. I even went around asking people, just so MAYBE I could be clear on their identities, and nobody else knew either. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, seeing as how she apparently believed she was fighting Brandon Davis instead of Brandon Evans several weeks ago, but to go off about these two broads who supposedly have accomplished some great feet, and yet, they're complete unknowns? Are they some indy-wrestlers who she aspires to be like? Does she want to go to the indy leagues because she knows that's the ONLY place she'll actually seem to sound like someone with half of ONE brain cell?

Oh GOD could someone PLEASE give this child some of the basic knowledge needed to survive in this world?!

The last conclusion I came to, thanks to this whore with a severe inferiority complex, was that she apparently lies about her age.

To begin with, she likes to rename champions. While, yes, I am the Adrenaline Champion, she made up a championship that Exeter once held, and supposedly she'll be holding another made-up championship after Gang Rulz. Ok... That's fine! She can be the "Uber SCW Goddess Vaginal Warts" Champion for all I care. She can make up championships she'll hold until she's blue in the face, and if it makes her happy, then by all means continue!

Now speaking of her "happiness," I think SCW management needs to really have a look at her potentially forging some of the paperwork she filed when she signed her contract. What human being, of an adult age, or even late teenage age for that matter, would go running around their yard, celebrating an event that just happened in their mind, and actually BELIEVE it really happened? I know she'll probably call it "acting," but unfortunately we all know how childish the person "acting" like Katie is. With that in mind, nobody would believe a word he, she, it, said to argue that point.

Jesus! For ONCE I would like to have an opponent who's mental age isn't the equivalent of a TODDLER!


UGH! Anyway...

In summation, these conclusions are just the BEGINNING of the many reasons Katie doesn't even deserve a chance at this belt. It takes a certain maturity level to even have a RIGHT to this. You have to actually KNOW what you're talking about, know what belt it REALLY is you're fighting for, and know that the match HASN'T even happened yet, to even be considered a TRUE champion. Unfortunately for Steward, she flunked out of BIRTH, and therefore doesn't have any reason to think she's qualified to be the SCW Champion.

After leaving the arena for Breakdown, and returning to Jake's home in Iowa, both Brandon and Jake have been nursing their wounds, and preparing for their next battle at Gang Rulz. Unfortunately for Jake, it isn't the only battle he has been dealing with.

Since arriving at his house, he's been plagued with a battle that has consumed more time than he wishes. It is one he wishes could have been avoided, but was inevitable. It has finally come time to confront Brandon with this issue as well. The issue has a direct concern to him, and the two of them need to have a proverbial "talk." Jake had hoped it would never be a talk they had to have, but recent events have forced it.

Jake enters the room where Brandon is relaxing, and sits down across from him. He takes a deep breath, and begins their conversation, knowing this could end up being a difficult one for them to have.

Jake Starr: Brandon...

Brandon Evans: Hey bro!

Jake Starr: Dude... We need to have a serious talk...

Brandon Evans: Uh oh!

Jake Starr: Yeah...

Brandon begins to worry this "talk" has something to do with Jake's wrestling career, and begins to panic a bit.

Brandon Evans: ... Dude! I understand you did what you set out to do. I understand now you may be feeling like it's time to hang it up again... I understand...

Jake quickly interrupts.

Jake Starr: It's not that...

Brandon sighs, but still has a sense of worry about him.

Jake Starr: ... This is just something that has come up recently, and it needs to be addressed and remedied now.

Again, Brandon begins to worry heavily. This time, his panic level begins to shift from Jake retiring, to Jake thinking about going forward alone.

Brandon Evans: Dude! Don't split up the Misfits! I know you've done this on your own, but we're family! We're "Brothers in Blood!"

Jake Starr: Brandon you...

Brandon Evans: I'm serious man! We're a family! You, me, Bane, Shawn...

Jake Starr: This isn't...

Brandon Evans: You brought me here to help the Social Misfits flourish, we can't stop now!

Brandon has a severely worried look in his eye. Every time Jake tries to interject into Brandon's tirade, he's quickly cut off. Frustration is beginning to set in.

Brandon Evans: ... And on top of that, we're on a f_cking roll! Why would you...

Jake Starr: Brandon...

Brandon Evans: ... Derail us from our roll?!

Jake Starr: Brandon!

Brandon Evans: ... You're the glue that's held us together through all these years, and...

Jake rolls his eyes, and finally reaches his boiling point.

Jake Starr: BRANDON!!!

Jake smacks Brandon on the back of the head. Brandon's head whiplashes forward, and he freezes. His panic is silenced, and he looks over at Jake, and takes a deep breath.

Brandon Evans: Thanks! I needed that!

Jake chuckles.

Jake Starr: Apparently!

Brandon takes another deep breath, and finally decides to reasonably address the initial issue.

Brandon Evans: Ok... So what's up?

Jake Starr: Well, I had this little issue that was recently brought to my attention.

Brandon Evans: You said that part already!

Jake Starr: Well... You asked!

Brandon Evans: Ok... Well then who brought it to your attention?

Jake Starr: Well... I kind of stumbled across it myself.

Brandon cocks an eyebrow.

Brandon Evans: Could you be anymore vague?

Jake Starr: If I thought about it I probably could! But I am kind of lazy for that at the moment!

Brandon Evans: Fair enough!

Jake Starr: Anyway... You know how we share my travel laptop on the road, right?

Brandon Evans: Yeah...

Jake Starr: And you know how you "check your email" while I'm in the shower or the sh!tter, right?

Brandon Evans: Yeah

Jake Starr: Well, do the words "BDSM midget porn" ring a bell?

Brandon goes to respond then realizes what Jake just said. His eyes open widely in complete shock. He apparently forgot to clear out his cache and cookies before giving it back to Jake.

Jake Starr: I'm guessing by that reaction, that's a yes!

Brandon makes a comical "gulping" sound.

Jake Starr: Yeah... See... That wasn't the bad part. The bad part is the program you downloaded to "help you" find what you were looking for.

Brandon Evans: Umm...

Jake Starr: ... I think it was called "Help Me Jerk It To Her Slit."

Brandon Evans: It claimed to be a good porn search engine! And... Well.. It worked!

Jake Starr: Dude... That computer is laden with spyware and malware now!

Brandon Evans: Oops!

Jake Starr: Yeah oops!

Brandon Evans: Well... The program looked legit!

Jake face-palms himself.

Jake Starr: Do you realize dopey spyware people make programs to "look legit" so retards download them?

Brandon Evans: Yeah...

Jake Starr: Then why did you download it?

Brandon Evans: Apparently I'm a retard!

Jake shakes his head in disbelief.

Jake Starr: You know that laptop is just to suffice while we're on the road.

Brandon Evans: Yeah... It was cheap though!

Jake Starr: Yeah, but it's still running WinBLOWS!

Brandon Evans: So?

Jake Starr: Why do you think I ONLY have Macs at the house?

Brandon Evans: Because Apple is a secret sponsor?

Jake Starr: No... Because anything running WinBLOWS 2 or higher sucks a dick, and is liable to become infected with spyware, malware, or viruses.

Brandon Evans: Ah! Well... I'm sorry!

Jake continues to shake his head.

Jake Starr: I KNEW I should have just splurged and gotten another Mac! They, at least, are safe from this BS, and are easy to reinstall the operating system.

Brandon Evans: Like I said... I'm sorry!

Jake Starr: Dude... If you wanted porn, you should have just said something! I had BadJojo and xHamster bookmarked! Where do you think I find my amputee porn anyway?

Brandon Evans: Nice! I wonder if they have BDSM Midget Amputee Strap-on Porn...

Jake cocks an eyebrow.

Jake Starr: ... Might be a little too specific of a niche...

Brandon Evans: WHAT... THE... F_CK?!

Jake shrugs and leaves the room, heading back to continue babysitting the pair's travel computer. From the other room Jake yells at Brandon, hoping he understands this is a lesson in why you DON'T trust anything Microsoft related. Brandon is bummed he crashed the computer, but doesn't let it deter him from his quest to find the "Holy Grail" of midget porn! Jake hopes he can get the computer fixed before the two of them head off for Gang Rulz, but with computers running Microsoft Windows, the odds of it being functional by then usually are grim.

Jake Starr: ... Now I hope nobody thought I would forget "He Who Lurks in the Shadows."

I will admit, after I finally beat Exeter, I had hoped he would have come out with his guns blazing for this match. I was hoping to see a man who had that DESIRE to win once again. Instead, we all see nothing. We see equally as much as we did the weeks prior to me beating him. We see the TRUTH!

As much as people doubted me about Exeter, maybe NOW they're seeing I was right. He was merely someone who was just going to hang around until someone bested him, and then he'd run away like the scared dog he is. He was someone who portrayed the role of a champion, only until it was taken from him, then he plays the role of a nobody.

It is something I hope people never forget, yet forget quickly.

Now you probably are saying, "how does that even make sense?" Well I'll happily tell you!

For the sake of HIS legacy, I hope everyone remembers how he tucked his tail between his legs, and ran away. He didn't give it "one more try," he just ran off like a little BITCH. And now, for this match, he disrespects me AGAIN by being a quiet piece of sh!t, who, probably, is still seen as a legit contender for the title. Hopefully, when I dispose of him, and hopefully EXPOSE him again, people will NEVER forget what he really is deep down. He's a worthless, disgraceful, and disgusting piece of loose, runny, feces.

Now... How would I like people to forget this whole ordeal quickly? It's simple! See, this championship, as I have stated time and time again, deserves respect. It deserves respect from those who hold it, and those who seek it. James Exeter had it while he was the hunter, but once he became the hunted, he lost all respect he had for those who wanted it, and he, who had it. Nobody deserves to have to remember such a foul and horrid stain on the legacy of this championship, like the one he put. He effectively used the SCW Championship as toilet paper.

That is how I hope people remember, yet forget...

But you know what is true... Exeter is unpredictable. He is capable of shocking the world. He could, very well, show up at Gang Rulz ready, willing, and able, to reclaim his championship. He could use the fact that the odds definitely don't favor the champion retaining to his advantage.

If that ends up being the case, and he actually decides to be a part of this match, then I'll be ready.

Regardless of how I would bet he shows up, I am going to prepare for him the same way I have the previous three meetings. I am going to prepare for the Exeter that topped Shawn Winters to become the SCW Champion. I am going to prepare for the James Exeter who "took hold of the flame." I'm not going to just overlook him, that'd be stupid of me.

So, stepping back, now what is there to look forward to at Gang Rulz? Three people will walk in for the SCW Championship, and ONE will emerge. It will either be one of two people who constantly need to have people around them saying how "Extraordinary" or "Goddess-like" they are, or it'll be someone who grew out of that childish phase. It will either be one of two people who constantly need their egos stroked, or someone who simply lets his body of work do the stroking. The odd of it being one of those "two people" are slim.

It's plain and simple.

When the lights go out at Gang Rulz, it won't be a former World Champion winning; it won't be a four year old who should just go back to playing their little MMORPGs on their mommy's computer winning; it will be the reigning, defending, undoubtedly BIGGEST "STARR," to ever hold the SCW Championship winning; IT WILL BE JAKE STARR!


Back to Role Play Archive | Home