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Jake Starr knows that, eventually, the tide will begin to turn, as it pertains to James Exeter.

It is honestly inevitable.

Jake knows that, no matter how many times Exeter continues to sneak his way out of a match, there will be that ONE TIME where he fails. There will be that one time he tries to merely "get by" against Jake, and Jake cuts him off at the pass, forcing him to try and think on his feet, and, in football terms, punt.

But what is going to force that hand?

Brandon and Jake, both, are trying to think about their next matches a bit differently from before. What they both tried at the last edition of Breakdown, didn't pan out the way they had intended. It ultimately lead to Jake having nightmares, and Brandon to have a sore scrotum... Neither of which are enjoyable to say the least.

So how are they doing things differently?

Brandon has apparently been in contact with a company in need of a couple of "pitch men" with the star-power of a Chuck Norris or a Suzanne Summers, but without the exposure in the endorsement market. Brandon honestly believes their "endorsement" could benefit the product, and at the same time, put them into the shameless, self-important, and selfish, mindset of the opposition. The only problem, Jake has no clue what the product is, or who the company is. Brandon has been adamant about keeping that from the Adrenaline Champion, which has Jake even more leery than he normally is of Brandon's "brilliant" ideas.

Nevertheless, the two make their way towards the studio where they'll be filming this supposed commercial, and Jake hopes Brandon can eventually navigate them there. Brandon forgot his GPS before they left, and they're trying to find their way thanks to Brandon and a map.

Thus far, it has been less than productive as Jake realized half way into the trip, Brandon had been reading the map upside down. Now, with the map righted, they hopefully near their studio location.

Jake Starr: ... So when are you going to tell me about this product we're supposed to be endorsing?

Brandon Evans: Dude... Don't worry about it! It's going to be great!

Jake Starr: Do you not realize how many times you've said that, and I've come close to being arrested?!

Brandon Evans: Hehe... But it was funny huh?

Jake Starr: No f_cker! I almost got arrested!

Brandon Evans: I know... But it was funny huh?

Jake rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Brandon Evans: Seriously... This is going to be a good thing!

Jake Starr: Thanks Martha Stewart! When do we get to build our lavish cornucopia to dress the window sill?

Brandon Evans: After I teach you how you can bake this lovely pie only using ingredients you'll find in specialty stores you can't afford to shop in!

Jake Starr: Oh! Then I have something to look forward to!

Brandon Evans: Yes!

Again, Jake shakes his head in disbelief as he drives.

Jake Starr: Why are we seriously even doing this?! We're not strapped for cash. We're not in debt. So... Why? What ingenious reason came over you to have us sell this product, which you have so nicely kept from me?

Brandon Evans: Honestly?

Jake Starr: YES!

Brandon Evans: Well I had this epiphany while I was sitting on your couch tugging on my balls. First off, I couldn't figure out why they were hurting, then it came to me, it's because I was yanking on them!

Jake looks over with a completely confused, and slightly disturbed look.

Jake Starr: Your epiphany was that your nuts hurt because you pulled too hard?

Brandon Evans: Yes... Well no... It more so spawned the epiphany! See, after Breakdown, I realized we both needed to start refocusing for the future. Obviously, with Exeter, things haven't been quite right for you. And with me, I suffered a loss finally. Both of those made me realize we maybe needed to go about things differently.

Jake Starr: And you got that by tugging on your balls?

Brandon Evans: Not really... But I figured me touching myself was a good segue!

Jake Starr: If you say so!

Brandon Evans: But I thought that MAYBE... Just MAYBE... By getting into the minds of our opposition from here on out, we might be able to better understand them, thus being able to better take them out in future contests.

Jake Starr: ... And we're going to do that by endorsing a product?

Brandon Evans: Something like that!

Jake Starr: ... Or are we going all "Billy Mays" and just pitching it?

Brandon Evans: That's more the case! It's not necessarily a product they'd use our image for.

Brandon tells Jake to turn in at the next entrance.

As Jake turns in they slowly approach the security checkpoint, where they are to check-in prior to going to the set. Their car is approached by two security guards, one on each side of the car. Both guards ask for ID from the two SCW superstars, and ask what their business is on the lot. Brandon explains that they are there to help pitch a product for Asinine Ingenuities for the Disturbed and Sickly.

Hearing the name of the company begins to worry Jake.

The two security guards go back to their guard shack, and radio into dispatch about the two at the gate, and their supposed business on the lot. After a lot of garbled messages from their dispatch station, the two guards return to the vehicle. They say that they have been cleared to enter the lot, and proceed to studio 4B. Jake explains he has no idea how to get there, and doesn't want to end up touring the lot trying to find it. The guard on his side of the vehicle retreats to the shack and pulls out a paper map, depicting the layout of the facility. He circles the building Jake is to drive to, and gives him a basic idea of how to get their from the security gate.

As the guard finishes explaining, Jake and Brandon proceed onto the studio lot. Brandon navigates Jake through the various twists and turns, trying to get to studio 4B. Jake finally realizes Brandon is taking him on the "scenic" tour to get there. When Jake realizes this, Brandon explains he just wanted to see more of the lot, before they got to the studio. Jake chuckles, but finally gets Brandon to begin guiding them to their actual destination.

Jake rounds one more corner, and emblazoned on the side of the building directly ahead of them is the tag 4B. Jake makes a "B-Line" for the building, and comes to rest aside several other parked cars outside the studio. The two step out of the car and walk into the side door.

Immediately as they set foot into the studio, the apparent director of the shoot daintily skips up to the two. It is obvious of his differential preference in sexual nature. He quickly begins to hype up the shoot, and begin to explain, in full detail, what will be happening.

Director: Well hello there gentlemen!

Jake Starr: Umm... Hi?

Director: I am sooo happy you two agreed to do this shoot for AIDS's new product!

Jake is immediately taken back by the director's comment.

Jake Starr: Wait wait... What?

Director: I'm really happy you guys are here for this new product!

Jake Starr: But WHAT product was it you said?

Director: AIDS! Oh! Sorry it's just our little acronym for Asinine Ingenuities for the Disturbed and Sickly! AIDS! It's catchy isn't it!

Jake Starr: That's one way of putting it! So... Anyway, what is this product we'll be hawking here?

Director: Oh my God! It is our new specialty!

He reaches into the pocket of his lab coat, and pulls out a tube of this new product. He holds it up like a typical product model would.

Director: It's called OralDelight!

Jake's eyes widen in sheer shock.

Jake Starr: Ok I'm out of here!

Jake heads for the door but is quickly cut off by Brandon.

Brandon Evans: Dude... Why you running?

Jake Starr: What in the hell is that crap?

Brandon Evans: I told you! It's a product that will help us get into the minds of our opponents! Besides, it sounded like a fun product!

Jake Starr: Fun?! What in the hell kind of "fun" could that produce?

The director sneaks up behind Jake, hears Jake's question, and is quick to explain the product to the Adrenaline Champion.

Director: Well Mr. Starr... It is our new oral gel that gives the mouth a soothing and warming feeling, while numbing up the throat to ease gag reflexes. On top of that, it comes in an assortment of yummy tropical flavors!

Jake looks over at Brandon, eyes still completely agape. His facial expression continue to be inquisitive to his partner's involvement with this product, considering they're not the targeted market for it.

Brandon Evans: How does THAT not sound like fun?!

Jake finally loses it, and yells back at his partner.


Brandon Evans: Couples looking for a little extra excitement in their lives?

Jake Starr: If you want to put it that way... But it's geared for men of the homosexual variety and women who're dating men with abnormally large johnson's to be able to be face f_cked, and not vomit in the crotch's of their significant others!

Brandon winces at the mental image.

Brandon Evans: Dude... WHAT... THE... FUCK?!

Jake Starr: It's either THAT, or their gag reflex is so sensitive that the mere thought of a penis in their mouth makes them seemingly have the dry heaves.

Brandon Evans: Ew!

The director senses the resistance to pitching the product, and quickly tries to remedy the situation.

Director: Gentlemen gentlemen... We have been testing this product with some of our premier clientele! We have even gotten some excellent feedback. Here read this...

Jake is handed a piece of paper with the script for the infomercial on it. The dainty director points to the part in the script where the sound bytes will play, and Jake reads them aloud.

Jake Starr: "This product has strengthened my internal bond with my 'Angel,'" says JE of New York, New York, and KS from Beverly Hills raves, "I'd never be able to down all 4 inches of she-manliness of my favorite cup of Dannon!"

Before reading anymore, Jake stops, and his head bolts up, eyes wide open, again. He stares forward realizing what he just read. He looks over at Brandon, who finally processes the quotes, and realizes who has already endorsed the product.

Brandon Evans: Holy sh!t!

Jake looks back over at the director.

Jake Starr: I think we may be the wrong pitchmen for this product, sir.

Director: Aww! How come?

Jake Starr: I just think it may be smarter to have JE and KS pitch this one. They seemingly have had "hands on" training with it already, and would know the abilities. Although, I'm sure we could rewrite this script for you to suit them!

Director: Really?

Jake Starr: Sure! We'd simply add in JE being on all fours on a table, nude of course...

Director: Sexy!

Jake Starr: Then KS could take a giant marital aide and shove it down his throat demonstrating the endless possibilities!

From over Jake's shoulder, Brandon pulls out the infamous black dildo, originally thought to have been lost at the airport.

Brandon Evans: Like this one?!

Jake jumps back, and assumes the "crane kick" stance, as if the dildo could attack him, and he need to prepare himself to defend his livelihood. As he realizes the dildo will not be performing any unwarranted attacks on him, he lowers his guard, and turns his attention to Evans.

Jake Starr: ... Dude... I'm not even going to ask how you got that one back!

Brandon shrugs, obviously wondering why Jake is bothered by the reemergence of the phallic appendage.

Jake takes the script and pushes it into the chest of his comrade and leaves the set heading back to his car. Brandon, still confused by the whole situation, hands the script back off to the director and runs off, still carrying the marital aide for some unknown reason. Brandon has to chase after Jake as he begins to drive away, and is forced to hop into the car, slap-stick style, through the passenger side window. As Jake rounds a corner, Brandon's legs continue to flail outside the window, as he tries to wiggle in, and get situated.

Jake Starr: With every second that passes, I know I am coming closer and closer to achieving my ultimate goal. With every second that passes, I know my opponent sits, chewing the nails of his grubby fingers, wondering why nobody has come to change his diaper, and wishing time would pass by slower, so he could savor his waning days as champion just a little longer.

Unfortunately, time doesn't alter for anyone, unless you're on television!

I know Exeter oh so well. I know how he has to go over every word he utters with a fine-toothed comb, making sure it packs the "punch" he feels it will, hoping it delivers the verbal knock-out blow to me. Then he opens his mouth, releases a verbal toxin into the air that merely makes me wish I had a Tic-Tac or an Altoids mint handy.

During my time, lately, of waiting for this verbal secretion of nonsense, I've done some reading, and come across a couple of quotes. These quotes have given me a bit of a philosophical outlook on my upcoming match, that I never really thought about in these ways... Quite frankly, Exeter has never made me once have to THINK about what to say about him, he makes it so easy I just wing it most of the time, so I had to seek out the mental stimulation somewhere else. So I figured I would share that with the world today...

And James Exeter need not fear... When I'm done I'll put it in terms he and Carl from Sling Blade would have no trouble understanding...

"With great wealth, comes great responsibility," Bill Gates.

Those words never spoke more true than in the here and now. We live in a time where we are to see a man, like the one I face at Breakdown, as a man of great wealth. Wealth is defined as having an abundance of valuable material possessions or resources, and in the world of Supreme Championship Wrestling, that wealth is a championship belt. To some, ANY championship belt would enhance the feeling of great wealth. It wouldn't matter how high on the SCW "totem pole" the belt said you were, they would have the wealth they sought.

To others, just ANY belt will not do.

One man holds the key to the ultimate "wealth" in SCW, and he seemingly tries his damnedest to flaunt it in every way possible. He tries to use in when he speaks, he talks about how nobody else is deserving of it as he is. He talks about how, no matter how hard someone may try, he'll always be the one who holds the "wealth" here. He basically dangles it like a carrot in front of the faces of the rest, knowing that as soon as those who are hungry reach it, he'll pull it up, and laugh.

All of that shows why that man is no more a "champion" or a "wealthy man" than, say, your neighborhood homeless man.

See, when Bill Gates uttered those famous words, he did it for a reason. He did it to make sure everyone who was lucky enough to be seen as "fortunate" in this world, had responsibilities associated with it. Those who are "fortunate" become people who have to become a living embodiment of their successes. Whether it's by displaying their successes, or becoming the success through their actions in the real world. Whichever the case, it is part of their responsibilities...

Arguably, Mr. Gates may want to go back to this quote, and once again try and live by it, but that's another story.

James Exeter is a man who needs to understand that, while he may be the current SCW Champion, he hasn't lived up to what that title means. He hasn't done his part to truly SHOW that he is deserving of the respect and the honor that comes with that belt. All he has shown is that he is incapable of living the life of a man with those riches in his life. Men with those types of riches don't walk around trying to tell everyone they are completely incapable of achieving the same things.

Exeter has been telling EVERYONE whom he has faced, that they are incapable of becoming the SCW Champion. He has been openly trying to destroy any desires his opponents may have. It's something he does with the hopes that it scares everyone away. You see, James KNOWS he isn't fit to be the champion. He isn't fit to be "rich." If he were, he wouldn't have had to stoop to the levels he had in order to stay there. He would have been able to do it all himself, and completely rid the world of any argument to the contrary.

Deep down, it pains him.

It pains him to know he isn't worthy of what he holds. It eats away at him day after day knowing he is forced to sneak by, by whatever means necessary just to stay in a world he is completely unfit for. But he hopes that by cutting the corners, by cheating, by lying, by being a disgrace to the roster, ultimately people will think enough time has passed to actually give him the credit he wishes he deserved. Only then will his inside distress begin to subside to the point he might actually believe in himself. Only then will he believe he is deserving of the accolades that go along with being "top dog" in SCW.

Unfortunately, that day will never come...

The day will never come where he can actually believe he is the cream of the crop. The responsibilities that go along with being the champion are too much for him to endure. He must fight those who step in front of him on a level playing field, he must be able to emerge victorious no matter the circumstances, he must be able to know that when others look at him, they're not thinking, "Farce!"

Thankfully for him, and me too, those days where he has to worry are slowly dwindling down.

I can honestly say, I've been in his shoes. I've been the one pining for the acceptance as the "number one guy." It hurts. It hurts to know you're not being respected. But it's a growing process, of sorts. I can honestly say, I've been there, I've been down the roads he is on, so I know better. I know what I have to do once I take the championship from around his waist, and I hoist it to the heavens next to my Adrenaline Championship. I'm not going to be a farce, a pretender, a mockery, a sham, or a travesty, like he is now. I'm merely going to be a champion.

"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish," Euripides.

When it comes to actually trying to communicate with a invalid like Exeter, I have come to realize he isn't one who completely uses normal logic when formulating his outrageous opinions and conjectures.

For example, when he last had our little verbal assaults on one another, he made it clear on one occasion I was out scheming a master plan, apparently out to completely execute my own agenda, for my own personal gain. Subsequent diatribes he claimed responsibility for said master plan, thus eliminating any credibility he once had in his argument. When confronted with the obvious ludacris nature of his argument, he completely ran off on another tangent, and tried to point the finger at me from another angle.

Unfortunately, this trend has become one to expect repeatedly.

Stupidity is a factor in being a champion, that Exeter hasn't quite come to terms with. He likes to use those "high school level" adjectives in order to hopefully mask his complete lack of focus, and yet, in the end, he fails at that as well. He has tried, with me, Katie, and... Well truthfully those may be his only successful matches since he became "the guy" in SCW, to repeatedly fool everyone to believing he is a competant and intellectual soul here, and unfortunately, through his inane babbling, and complete lack of cohesiveness in his dialog, he comes across as complete asinine boob.

According to my calculations, however, the repeated exposure to the completely flawed postulates that he derrives will end at Gang Rulz. Lucky for him, when he does become devoid of a championship at Breakdown, he'll have that glimmer of hope to recoup it, only to be shot down completely, again. Hopefully, if all goes well, this will inevitably end the bland, pointless, nonsensical, inane, prepubecent, and down right stupid notions that he spews continously throughout his cookie-cutter promos.

Although if we are all fortunate enough, he may introduce us to Appendix 4C, "What To Do Should Your Promos Have No Direction, And Ultimately Sound Exactly Alike." Should that happen, we may actually encounter something that isn't a covtrived, run-of-the-mill, scheme that we've all heard before!

Ahh... Hopefully that sums everything up!

Oh I forgot, I have to translate that for my opponent...

... Ahem...

James, I be gonna kick your butt because you're a stupid head!

... Ahem...

And... Scene!


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