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With Breakdown in the rear view mirror, and the Social Misfits seemingly reigning supreme, the momentum is definitely on their side going into the SCW pay-per view, Under Attack.

Jake goes into Under Attack, career definitely on the line. Unlike most matches, he has five individuals all vying for the same goal as him. It's a goal that, most of the time, brings out the best in all who compete for it. It's a shot at the SCW Championship.

Jake also knows that even though he has this match, after that he finally gets his match against James Exeter, where he hopes to extract revenge for the disgraceful way that he was beaten. He has to make sure, however, he doesn't allow that match to distract him from his match at Under Attack.

Before the head for Under Attack, the Social Misfits know they have a moment to relax. Brandon has snagged his friend and told him he has another "surprise" for him. Jake, knowing the recent history of the two "surprising" one another, is quite concerned as to what Brandon has planned. Brandon has assured him that this time will be different than the recent times.

As Brandon pulls up to Jake's residence to pick him up, Jake comes out, and gets into Evans's car. The two revel in the glory, that was Breakdown, and know that Under Attack could be the next day of excitement for the Misfits. Until then, Brandon knows it's time to keep Jake from getting too tense, and too worried. Hopefully, this idea he has come up with is a success in helping Jake stay relaxed.

Brandon Evans: ... So now that we've shared "memories" with one another, and subsequently flung poo at one another at McDonalds, I say it's time for something real.

Jake Starr: Real?

Brandon Evans: Yeah!

Jake Starr: What do you mean by real?

Brandon Evans: Well something that we're both going to enjoy.

Jake Starr: I'm not having sex with you!

Brandon Evans: DAMN! I mean... GOOD!

Jake chuckles.

Brandon Evans: Seriously though... I got a tip of a place that we'd both be able to have a good time.

Jake Starr: Titty bar?

Brandon Evans: Close...

Jake Starr: Hooters?

Brandon Evans: Now you're getting colder!

Jake Starr: Umm... Buddy booth in Times Square?

Brandon Evans: Didn't they outlaw those?

Jake Starr: Yeah... Unfortunately... Giuliani did in during his "cleansing" of New York City.

Brandon Evans: Ethnic?

Jake Starr: No... But I wouldn't put it past him...

Brandon Evans: True!

Jake, still, is curious about where Brandon is taking them.

Jake Starr: Ok... So where?

Brandon Evans: I got this tip on a killer Asian massage parlor!

Jake smirks, closes his eyes, and shakes his head.

Jake Starr: Seriously?

Brandon Evans: Yeah! Got a tip that this place is "grade A!" Complete with a happy ending!

Jake Starr: Dude...

Brandon Evans: What?! We both were the stars of Breakdown, we deserve a treat!

Jake Starr: You seemingly are forgetting something...

Brandon Evans: What?

Jake lifts his left hand up, and points to his wedding ring. Brandon glances over from the driver's seat.

Brandon Evans: Oh yeah!

Jake Starr: Umm yeah!

Brandon Evans: Then... Umm... Don't tell her?

Jake's eyes bulge at the thought.

Jake Starr: DUDE!

Brandon Evans: It's a thought!

Jake Starr: True... It is a thought. But I can't do that to my wife. Girlfriends yes, wives no!

Brandon Evans: Oh c'mon! You can have a little Asian "sucky-sucky!"

Jake Starr: CAN yes... Won't do it though.

Brandon Evans: Dude... Don't be a party pooper!

Jake Starr: I'm not! I didn't say you couldn't get a "happy ending."

Brandon Evans: Really?

Jake Starr: Yes stupid!

Brandon sighs, slightly disappointed in the fact Jake won't be sharing in the "fun."

Brandon Evans: ... Well how about this. You can get a regular massage, while I have the whole package!

Jake Starr: Nah... I don't think so!

Brandon Evans: C'mon man! After all the hijinx and chicanery from Breakdown, you know it would feel good.

Jake Starr: Dude, I can't!

Brandon Evans: Why not?!

Jake Starr: Because I... I just can't!

Brandon Evans: Seriously, why?

Jake Starr: Donít you remember last time?

Brandon Evans: Last time?

Jake Starr: ... The last time you had this bright idea to go to an Asian massage parlor.

Brandon chuckles.

Brandon Evans: Dude, I get that idea a lot! Especially in San Francisco! They have a menagerie of them!

Jake laughs.

Jake Starr: True. But the last time I was around when you decided this, we went to one that, not two minutes after we left, was swarmed by SWAT.

Brandon's eyes get wide as he remembers the incident.

Brandon Evans: OH YEAH!

Jake Starr: Yeah... That one! We go in, have ourselves the "house special," finish off, pay, and next thing you know, you see the bust on the news and our car driving away in the distance. Thank God they never figured out we were there.

Brandon Evans: The benefits of paying cash!

Jake Starr: Exactly!

Brandon Evans: I will say, though, she was a talented one!

Jake Starr: Hopefully she was at least one of the ones that would be considered LEGAL in this country.

Brandon Evans: I try not to think about that aspect of it.

Jake Starr: Yeah... Me neither!

Brandon Evans: Ahh... Memories!

Jake Starr: Ha ha... So you see... THAT is why I'm not going to leave it to chance. I want to be able to flee with my clothing still on.

Brandon somewhat understands Jake's point.

Brandon Evans: Ok ok fine!

Jake Starr: Glad you understand!

Brandon Evans: Not really, but kind of.

Jake looks over at his friend, confused.

Jake Starr: How does that f_cking make sense?

Brandon Evans: Who knows. Just trust me... It does!

Jake Starr: Whatever you say man!

Brandon Evans: ... But I can get one right?

Jake Starr: I'm not your boss dude! You can go bukkake on the girl for all I care!

Brandon Evans: Sweet! With as backed up as I am, it could be a tsunami of spludge!

Jake grimaces in disgust.

Jake Starr: Ok I really didn't need to know that!

As the two continue to converse, Brandon's GPS alerts him that they have almost reached their destination. Jake still thinks this is a radical idea his friend is having, but figures Brandon is allowed to humor himself every once in a while.

Evans's car rolls up in front of the "business." The two get out, and Jake looks up at the marquee to see the name "Ling Ling's Asian Massage Parlor." Jake laughs at the stereotypical name. He also notices there seemingly is some "tag line" below the marquee. He gets closer hoping to be able to make out what words are below the sign. As he gets within a few feet of the front door, he finally can read the "fine print."

"You COME Inside... No... Really!"

Jake chuckles to himself, and points the sign out to Evans. Evans laughs as well. Brandon double checks the address and the name to make sure that he picked the right one out. As he confirms he is at the right one, with the one he had written down, a tiny, Asian, woman comes running out to greet the potential patrons.

Asian Lady: Hey you! Hey you! You two COME inside!!

Jake Starr: Umm... I think he...

Asian Lady: No no you no understand! You... COME... Inside!!!

Jake looks over at Brandon, who is now officially grinning from ear to ear.

Brandon Evans: What services does your establishment offer?

The Asian lady frantically looks around, and motions for the two to follow her inside. Brandon doesn't hesitate, and quickly is following the little woman. Jake looks around, hoping not to be seen by anyone, and creeps in close behind.

Once the two are inside, the Asian lady latches the security door behind them. She then pulls out a book with the "services" provided.

Brandon Evans: You sure you're not interested?

Jake Starr: I'm sure!

Brandon quickly snatches the book and begins to look at what "services" he would like to purchase. He notices the "premium" package labeled "Crouching Masseuse, Hidden Penis." He quickly points it out to the Asian woman, and she smiles, then winks at Evans.

Evans pulls his wallet out, and hands the money over to the woman. She then instructs him to walk behind the curtain labeled "#1," and begin to disrobe. She also instructs Evans that they have a policy here, where the require patrons to wear a towel over their head.

Brandon follows the instructions he is given, and goes behind the curtain.

The lady then shows Jake a chair he can wait in, while Brandon is receiving his "services."

From behind the curtain Brandon can be heard rustling around, apparently getting "ready," as he was instructed. When he has completed the "preparation," he pushes a button within the booth that illuminates a light, signaling he is ready to receive his "special massage." Seeing this, the little Asian woman scurries over to another door and bangs loudly on it. She angrily yells something in Chinese, and then looks back at Jake smiling.

Jake nervously grins back.

The door to the room opens, and a masseuse exits. Jake's eyes widen as he sees a very broad-shouldered Asian person apparently wearing a wig. Jake is speechless as the masseuse struts into the booth where Brandon is laid out. As Jake continues to be stunned at what he believes he saw, his phone rings. The caller ID shows that it is his wife calling. Jake cringes, but answers.

Jake Starr: Hello?

Voice of Roeper Hart: Hey honey!

Jake Starr: Hey sweetie!

Voice of Roeper Hart: Where you at?

Jake Starr: You probably don't want to know!

Roeper's voice changes from happy to concerned.

Voice of Roeper Hart: Why? What happened?

Jake Starr: Oh nothing! Let's just say we're not in one of those establishments you'd feel real good about!

Voice of Roeper Hart: Strip club?

Jake Starr: Nah... That one I know wouldn't bother you as much!

Voice of Roeper Hart: Ok... Then where?

Jake Starr: Umm...

Her voice begins to get more angered.

Voice of Roeper Hart: Jake...

Jake Starr: Ok so we're at a massage parlor!

Voice of Roeper Hart: WHAT?!

Jake Starr: Don't worry don't worry... Brandon's the one getting his massage not me!

Voice of Roeper Hart: You damn well better not be!

Jake Starr: You think I'm that stupid?

Voice of Roeper Hart: I'd hope not!

Jake Starr: Would I tell you where we were if I was being that stupid?

Her voice begins to calm down with the realization that her husband was truthful about their whereabouts.

Voice of Roeper Hart: You have a point!

Jake Starr: So what's up?

Voice of Roeper Hart: Just checking in! I figured I'd see how things were going.

Jake Starr: Oh fine!

Voice of Roeper Hart: Well ok... I was just wanting to check in!

Jake Starr: Alright hun!

Voice of Roeper Hart: Bye love!

Before she has a chance to hang up, Jake quickly catches her attention. He begins to whisper in the receiver so as not to be heard by anyone else around him.

Jake Starr: Question... Should I tell Brandon that his masseuse has the potential to be a man?

Voice of Roeper Hart: Why do you say there is potential for that?

Jake Starr: Broad shoulders... Apparent wig...

Voice of Roeper Hart: Adam's Apple?

Jake Starr: Couldn't tell... But very "man-ish!"

Voice of Roeper Hart: I would tell him... If you didn't, and he got his jollies, and then you told him, he'd have to get you back

Jake Starr: Good point! Thanks!

Voice of Roeper Hart: No problem...

Jake Starr: Ok! Love you! Bye!

Voice of Roeper Hart: Bye sweetie!

Jake hangs his phone up, and looks over towards the desk where the Asian woman is sitting. She is staring at Jake wondering why he was on the phone. Jake quickly assures her he was just talking to his wife. After trying to read his body language, she finally succumbs to believing him.

Now Jake has to figure out how he plans on telling Brandon what it is he saw. He decides to yell towards the curtain that Brandon and his masseuse are behind.

Jake Starr: Hey man!

Brandon Evans: Brother you are missing one HELL of a massage!

Jake Starr: Am I?

Brandon Evans: Oh hell yeah! She has some strong hands!

Jake sees this as an opportunity to finally start hinting to his friend.

Jake Starr: Well... There's a reason for that!

Brandon Evans: If you give a bunch of massages, you'd get strong hands too!

Jake Starr: Umm... Yeah...

Brandon Evans: I'm hoping she makes this massage extra special for me too! She seems like she really likes me!

Jake Starr: I don't know about that one!

Brandon Evans: Listen I know she makes every one of her clients feel special, but let me have my moment!

Jake Starr: That's not what I was referring to.

Brandon Evans: Umm... Then what're you talking about?

Jake Starr: I'm not entirely sure that's she is, well, a "she."

Brandon Evans: Oh c'mon...

Jake Starr: Dude... Broad shoulders, and it was wearing a wig...

There is a silence from behind the curtain. The view shifts inside the curtain where Brandon is laying on the table, face still covered by the towel. Brandon visibly takes a deep breath, and moves his hand up towards the towel. He slowly lifts the corner of it and looks up towards his masseuse.

He locks eyes with a very masculine woman, or a very feminine man apparently wearing a wig. He rips the wig off revealing a crew cut hairdo.

Brandon Evans: WHAT THE F_CK?!

Brandon quickly jumps off of the table and collects his clothes. He doesn't even bother putting them on, and simply holds the clothes over his junk and his ass.

The view shifts back to Jake who sees a naked Evans spring out from behind the curtain and sprint out through the security door, and out the front door. Jake is stunned and confused as the wig-less masseuse comes out trying to catch his/her client. Jake stands up and begins walking towards the exit. As he reaches the door he looks back at the Asian lady.

Jake Starr: Umm... Thanks?

Jake quickly exits and approaches Brandon's car. The car is moving awkwardly, and Jake realizes it is due to Evans clothing himself from the driver's seat. Jake strolls around to the passenger side, and gets in.

As he sits down in his seat, he can't help but begin to laugh. Evans's head snaps over towards his friend with a look of pure anger in his eyes. Jake still can't keep himself from laughing.

Brandon Evans: Dude... F_ck you!

Jake erupts into an even harder state of laughter than before. Brandon just glares, and shakes his head.

Jake Starr: Dude... Where in the HELL did you hear about this joint?

Brandon Evans: Saw it on a note backstage at Breakdown...

Jake cocks an eyebrow in confusion.

Jake Starr: Where?!

Brandon takes a deep breath.

Brandon Evans: I walked into the wrong locker room, and saw this Post-It stuck in one of the lockers. From where I was standing I could make out the words "GOOD HEAD," so I had to investigate...

Jake Starr: Ok...

Brandon Evans: Gave this location and address, and I figured it'd be fun to check out!

Jake Starr: Well then... Whoever had this note, obviously has questionable tastes...

Brandon Evans: Yeah... Last God damn time I ever trust any references from CHBK!

Jake's eyes bulge hearing that Brandon got the note from the locker of CHBK. Brandon quickly starts the car and speeds off.

Jake Starr: Judging by how Breakdown went, and what I have heard thus far, the level of seriousness people are taking with this match is rather, oh how can I put it, slim. That is an idea that completely boggles my mind. I don't see how people could be completely neglecting the opportunity that sits before them. Instead of preparing and working towards gearing up for the devastation that lies before us all, most people are simply sitting on their hands and ignoring it.

It's a sad situation.

I can say, honestly, I'd expect things like this out of SOME of the people in this match, there are some I expected to actually show up, and put forth an effort into helping this match receive the right hype, and the right publicity that it deserved. I expected CERTAIN individuals to step up, and show why they deserved to be in this match. I expected others to completely act like this match didn't exist, and "ho-hum" it like normal.

One of those people I have expected more from is the "Holiest of the Holy," the "Messiah," the "Creator," himself, Chad Evans. At Breakdown, he was a complete dud. He barely showed up. He's supposed to be one of the super-legends of Supreme Championship Wrestling, praised and given many accolades for what he accomplished in the past, and THIS is what people are praising? People are praising a man who hasn't lived up to his hype since he made his "triumphant" return back at the Hall of Fame ceremony. Why am I supposed to concern myself with the likes of this guy, when he can't even do his part to live up to the hype?

If THIS is the "legendary" Chad Evans, the man who loathes everything not associated with him or people who love him, why is he as revered as he is? It doesn't add up. It doesn't add up how someone like him, when he has fallen so flat on his face since he returned, would be welcomed into a match where there is something of ACTUAL value on the line. Why bring in some hack, who criticizes the world, and then doesn't deliver himself? He is incapable of backing up what he likes to put out there.

Another person I expected a LITTLE more from, and have seen nothing, is Mr. Davis. When he and I met earlier this year, he actually showed up, sort of. He actually gave some inkling that he wanted to win, and make something of himself. As time has progressed, I am learning that the reason he only gets to show an INKLING and never more, is because he is so enthralled with someone like Rachel Foxx. What is the deal with people who've ever associated with her, that makes them incapable of being their own human being. If you team up with her, it's like your only allowed to express a mediocre interest in ANYTHING.

Nevertheless, Davis is going to walk into this match knowing he has no chance in hell. He is going to waddle down the aisle, get in his pod, be called out, be beaten, waddle to the back, and go home. It's going to become one of those "every other day" scenarios. This won't be some special day for him, it won't be the beginning of the rise of Justin Davis, it's just going to be another match. He's filler. He's nothing more than filler. If he was a legit contender, don't you think people would have seen him in the limelight a little more than just out of the blue? Regardless of all that... I still expected him to show he actually had some desire for this match!

Now we have those who I never expected much from, and let me just say, I've been spot on with them.

The little "Trinity of Turds," you know the three that are the equivalent to the #64 seed in the NCAA tournament, the "play-in" team, the "obvious loser," the one you should always bet against, actually have sort of showed some interest in having the HOPES of winning both their match, and then subsequently winning the chamber match. Desire is a good thing to have, but ignorance is one of those things that ultimately bites you in the ass in the end.

You have that belief that "yeah I can do this," and you really force yourself to believe it. You force yourself to believe your own lies. Wheeler believes his own lies. Cherry believes his own lies, like the one that says he's talented, and Hodges believes his own lies, like the one that says Exeter is awesome. Ultimately, all three of these mounds of poo are, ultimately, just that... Poo! They're not these "Gods" that will rise from the ashes, rise above the odds, or anything of the sorts. They'll all bomb. They'll all be shown to be frauds. They'll all just have to live in their fantasy world, where they each actually posses a relevant thought, and a smidgen of talent.

We now face the final two, Stephen Strange and Thorn.

Stephen Strange is a man who I have watched closely. That's a phrase that, when I tell that to others people ask, "Jake are you actually worried about this guy? Why would you watch him that closely?" It has NOTHING to do with the fact that I'm worried he poses a threat to me. It has nothing to do with me finding him skillful or talented. It has to do with his random obsession with me. Anyone who has never crossed my path, until last Wednesday at Breakdown, and is still so enthralled with me, completely bewilders me. I don't understand why someone would obsess over me like he does. Does he find me irresistible? Does he find me admirable? What is it that drives him to obsess like he does?

I think the answer is one I have stated many times. It lies within the fact he is DESPARATE for people to take him seriously. He wants people to believe he is a true competitor here, even though he hasn't been able to work his way out of the little league matches he's been thrown in since he got here. It took me less than a MONTH to do that. So why choose me? Why choose Jake Starr to hopefully slingshot your career into the limelight? I'll tell you why... Because a victory over Jake Starr actually means something. There are very FEW people who have that kind of credibility. Someone like James Exeter USED to have that kind of value. But since winning the SCW Championship, he has become someone who only shows up once a month. But Strange hopes that Sunday will mark a day where he can finally get noticed. He'll be noticed. He'll be noticed as one of those who fell fast.

Lastly, we come to Thorn. Thorn is a guy I have an enormous amount of respect for. The feeling I know is mutual. Unfortunately, we encounter one another in an instant where we're not allowed to show it to one another. We must look past it, and look at the business aspect of this match. We must put it aside and be willing to put each other in a position to hurt the other, just to end up on top. Neither of us will be allowed to hesitate in order to achieve our respective goals. Neither of us can care about the other one bit.

All of those things I respect that he and I will do, and be able to overlook in the future.

He did, however, step forward and basically say what I had said before is pretty much the opposite of what will be happening. I remember days like that. I remember the days when I was a young kid trying to break through and be seen as one of the major players, along side the big boys. And like I said before, Thorn WILL get there. He will achieve that goal of his. He WILL be a major player in this industry. It will just happen when it is his time. It just won't happen when the time belongs to someone else.

Thorn needs to understand that the desires and the emotions revolving around me, drive me to do just about whatever it takes in order to win. The circumstances that have lead to me being in this match trump everyone else. Had Damian Angel not stuck his fat head into my business, I wouldn't be in the chamber match, and for Thorn, it would be his time. Unfortunately, the business at hand leads me to believe that this match is mine for the taking.

I know I have also been given an outright opportunity at Exeter after Under Attack. But the fact of the matter is, he has to get through Katie Steward first. He has to survive a beating from a woman who, in my opinion, has bigger balls than him. If he can weasel his way out with his belt, yes I will have a title shot. But the reason I'm not taking my match with Exeter for granted is because he could very well be beat. If that's the case, my match with him will be for pure retribution. I won't have to think about a title aspect of it, and I can flat out do everything possible to send him out of the arena in a body bag.

With a win in the chamber, I'm guaranteed a second chance at the SCW Championship, no matter who wins. No matter who emerges, be it Exeter or Steward, I will meet them for the SCW Championship. It's that plain. It's that simple. Come Under Attack, SCW will once again be under an attack from the Social Misfits, and the foundation it sits on will begin to crumble.

Fade to black

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