Personal Bio Wrestler Bio
RP Archive Affiliates
Contact Me
With virtually just hours since The Infection attacked Jake Starr at Breakdown, the emotions that The Infection have resurrected from the soul of Jake Starr have been undeniably bitter. He has been in a stead state of anger and rage thanks to Drachewych, and his constant teasing of his Adrenaline Champion about a "favor" he is supposedly owed. Once Drachewych tried to cash it in, Jake straight up refused to abide by the boss's unknown request. In turn, The Infection jumped Starr, and the rest is history. Since the encounter, Shawn Wright has been trying to get answers from Starr regarding the whole situation, and also trying to find out if Jake is going to be ready to face his next opponent in SCW, Greaternity's own, Adam Allocco. As the conversation becomes audible, Jake is seen pacing with Shawn trying to get his answers.

Shawn Wright: ... Alright I have to finally ask...

Jake Starr: Ok?

Shawn Wright: What was the favor?!

Jake Starr: Trust me, that you DON'T want to know!

Shawn Wright: Why?

Jake Starr: It is disgusting!

Shawn's intrigue grows with the announcement of the "disgusting" nature of the "favor."

Shawn Wright: Ok now I REALLY have to know!

Jake Starr: Trust me... I'm telling you, you don't!

Shawn Wright: If it's disgusting... I do!

Jake Starr: Well you saw what was on the air right?

Shawn Wright: I saw him holding the door, then that's when it went to break... Next thing I know I'm seeing you come out of his door pissed.

Jake Starr: Well I was!

Shawn is growing impatient as Jake continues to skirt around the issue.

Shawn Wright: Ok! So... WHAT WAS IT?!

Jake Starr: Ok here's how it went down. The dick calls me into his office and says it is time for him to "cash in" the "favor" I owe him...

Shawn Wright: I know that much!

Jake Starr: Just be patient, ok?

Shawn Wright: Fine!

Jake Starr: ... Anyway... I get in there and he plops his metrosexual ass down behind his desk and tells me to do the same.

Shawn Wright: Ok...

Jake Starr: I see his hands fidgeting under his desk, and I am starting to get uneasy.

Shawn Wright: Sounds like something that would make me uneasy too!

Jake Starr: Oh it gets better!

Shawn Wright: Goodie!

Shawn jokingly assumes an "interested teen girl" pose, as Jake continues to tell the story.

Jake Starr: Next thing I know... He stands up, and has his, I kid you not, three-inch long, erect penis.

Shawn Wright: HOLY S#IT!

Jake Starr: Yeah... And YES... IT GETS BETTER!

Shawn Wright: Oh... My... God...

Jake Starr: Next thing I know he's saying his favor is for me to suck him off, and eat his ass!

Shawn Wright: Oh sweet Jesus!

Jake Starr: I said the same thing!

Shawn Wright: You refused right?

Jake Starr: Dude... He invited a tranny to join "The Infection," and jumped me. I don't think he'd be jumping someone who just "serviced" him.

Shawn Wright: Fair point... But THAT was the favor?

Jake Starr: Yeah! So when I said F_CK NO, he got cranky, and sat back down behind his desk. That was when the cameras saw me leaving.

Shawn Wright: Umm... Wasn't he begging you to reconsider?

Jake Starr: Yeah... Sounded like it!

Shawn Wright: Umm... Wow!

Jake Starr: Needless to say, I lost a LOT of respect for that guy when he pulled that s#it.

Shawn Wright: No wonder a lot of people don't like him

Jake Starr: Yeah... No wonder!

Shawn brings up Breakdown.

Shawn Wright: Well aside from how you got the invite to eat the boss's ass, you did win your match thankfully.

Jake Starr: Yeah...

Shawn Wright: Even with Infection...

Jake Starr: Let's refer to them as "In-f_ck-tion" from now on...

Shawn Wright: Ok... Even with "In-f_ck-tion's" interference, you scored another victory!

Jake Starr: Yeah... Granted some of the losers here may argue that, they attacked me, it was a normal match, Stacy is disqualified, and I'm STILL unbeaten...

Shawn Wright: Supposedly this next Breakdown is going to end that streak... At least from what the buzz is now!

Jake Starr: Oh is that right?

Shawn Wright: Yeah... From what I've heard!

Jake Starr: And they're actually banking on Adam Allocco?

Shawn Wright: Yeah...

Jake Starr: Hmm... So... Allocco is someone I am supposed to be worried about right? I mean he is someone who is a member of Greaternity. Look at that root word there... GREAT! I mean, I shouldn't even be thinking about being someone GREAT right? WRONG! Adam Allocco is a self-proclaimed "Enlightener," who is going around preaching the ministry of homoerotic tag-teaming, also known as "Alloccoism." Now, I don't know anyone who is actually out there "practicing" this method, that isn't a member of Greaternity. Maybe that's why they all are so close, and seemingly like to party together in close quarters. The girls must be the "diversion."

Shawn Wright: Apparently! I mean all you ever see is Greaternity living it up!

Jake Starr: You don't see what's going on behind the scenes!

Shawn Wright: Ha ha! Now wasn't this guy part of that Tactical Warfare match that happened back at Out of Control?

Jake Starr: I think so. I think the two rival "Pride" groups took on another group.

Shawn Wright: Usually you don't see groups promoting gay pride having in-fighting.

Jake Starr: Yeah... It is kind of a strange!

Shawn Wright: They're like the Bloods and Crips of professional wrestling!

Jake Starr: Yeah if the Bloods and Crips were ass f_cking one another.

Shawn Wright: Ha ha!

Jake Starr: So they're more like the Hells Angels and the Rock Machine...

Shawn decides sarcasm is a good response.

Shawn Wright: Rock Machine? Sounds sexy!

Jake Starr: Well I figured I needed to help go "local" for the Canadians... Otherwise they may not get it!

Shawn Wright: Ah! So I guess the Rock Machine is another anal-raping, biker, gang?

Jake Starr: Yeah... Out of Quebec...

Shawn Wright: Even better! French anal-f_ckers!

Jake Starr: Yep!

Shawn Wright: Gotta love those people who can never get away from their little butt-buddies, and have to hang on to them for protection...

Jake Starr: You know... Now that I think about it... I have been here for a little while now, and all I ever see is Allocco butted-up right next to Ace Marshall. You never see them apart. So I began to really take a long, close, look at them, and I think I have solved the mystery. They aren't super glued together, they're actually the real life identities of the Ambiguously Gay Duo! Now I haven't quite figured out who is the one who is on the other's back. But being here this long, all you ever see is these two salad-tossers teaming up and winning every now and then. You never see Adam really "branch out" on his own. Occasionally you'll see Ace go fight a singles match here and there, but Adam is like that lackey you never can get rid of. It's like Ace is the "bully," and Adam is his little cohort, with the prepubescent laugh, egging him on. I really do think that Adam is going to be in for a surprise when he fights me one-on-one. HOPEFULLY he doesn't catch me climbing to my feet, drop his pants like Drachewych, and try and violate me. I won't be "enlightened" that is for sure.

Shawn cringes.

Shawn Wright: Yeah I think you have had plenty of "enlightenment" offers already.

Jake Starr: No kidding!

Shawn Wright: I mean... When the owner even comes out and offers to "enlighten" you, you're pretty much set on offerings!

Jake Starr: Well... When he says "enlightened," I think he is talking about himself. For being this microbe of a professional wrestler, I bet he has this tremendous amount of jizz up in his prostate that he needs to release. When he successfully gets to be the pitcher instead of the catcher, he always feels "lighter" when he's done. I bet he feels "light as a feather" and wants to float away after. Must be something to do with having to go to the s#itter after you've just been filled to the brim with man-sauce that doesn't give you that twinkle-toe feeling. Must be somewhere between happiness you just got ram-rodded by your private "stud," and humiliation that your rectum resembles a dog's penis being unsheathed.

Shawn Wright: Ha ha ha!

Jake Starr: Like that?

Shawn Wright: I have just never thought about a protruding anal cavity resembling a lipstick penis of a canine!

Jake Starr: Well I am glad I could help...

Shawn Wright: Oh don't say it...

Jake Starr: Oh I'm going to...

Shawn Wright: Oh no...

Jake Starr: I'm glad I could help "enlighten" you to it!

Jake continues pointing things out regarding his opponent.

Jake Starr: You ever heard the guy trying whatever it is he calls "smack talk?" It is so bloody unnatural it is actually kind of bothersome. I have heard him, on several occasions, make a complete fool of himself by the way he talks. See most people, when they're talking at or to someone, they'll use a first name only. They won't throw out the guy/girl's full name. Like back before Out of Control, he was trying to sound vicious and sounding off and goes, "You know David Miller..." I could have sworn normal people would have said "You know David," or "You know Miller," instead of using his full bloody name. He might as well say "Hey 'insert full birth name of my opponent here.'" That is the exact same thing he's saying anyway! It would have the same damn impact too!

Shawn smacks Jake in the arm.

Jake Starr: What the hell?

Shawn points at the television.

Shawn Wright: Speak of the devil...

Jake's opponent, Adam Allocco, has begun a promo, and the two begin to watch. During the opening scene, Jake is very vocal with his thoughts.

Jake Starr: WHAT THE F_CK IS THIS HORSE S#IT?! This isn't the Adam Allocco and Greaternity Soap Opera Hour!

The scene continues with no relevance to their match.

Jake Starr: SERIOUSLY?! What is the point of any of this?!

Finally Allocco begins to reflect on his upcoming match with the Adrenaline Champion. Jake quiets his boisterous self, and begins to focus on his words very clearly. As Allocco's promo ends, Jake quickly vocalizes his displeasure.

Jake Starr: Holy Jesus... What kind of promo was that? A monstrosity of nothing, then at the end you decide to mention me. What the hell was the beginning about? How as it relavent? What was the point? All we get to hear about is stories from the world of Greaternity? WHO CARES?! Who gives a s#it about any of those guys, or their lives? This is PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING! This isn't "The View!" Jesus! Greaternity treats the airwaves like it is their personal realm to show episodes of their soap opera. That crap belongs on the LOGO Channel. They don't need to be bringing their meaningless and uninteresting lives to the precious airwaves, in this forum. If they want a forum to go have Dr. Phil diagnose the reasons they just can't seem to achieve "euphoria" when they're in the "heat of the moment," go to LOGO, go to Lifetime, go somewhere where that drivel is actually desired and tolerated. Who gives a flying f_ck about it here? NOBODY!

Shawn Wright: Well... He did mention you at the end there...

Jake Starr: But what, of any value, did he actually say?! For one, he called me a kid. And NOTHING chaps my ass more than someone calling me a KID. I'm older than that little prophet-boy, and he's going to call ME a kid?! And then saying how impressed he is that I haven't suffered a loss, and how special I must feel. He's right! But it isn't because I'm special or anything like that. It's because I'm a lot more f_cking talented than anyone else in this God-forsaken, hell hole. He and his band of cum-slingers need to realize they're not talented! He mentions someone who was in SCW fifty weeks and went 25-0. Where is he now?! He's right... I don't know of him! He's not here is he?! If he was, I know I would have heard him all tooting his own horn about that one! This guy is an idiot! In his eyes, I may just be another newcomer. But in the eyes of this BUSINESS, I am far bigger and better than anything he HAS ever, and WILL ever accomplish. I have seen talent that would squash him, and his little GIMMICK of "enlightenment."

Shawn chuckles.

Jake Starr: And what was with the whole diatribe about me not knowing anything about history? Does he actually think he is SMARTER than me? Has he ever listened to himself talk, and even more importantly than that, has he EVER heard himself say anything that actually has any value to it? How in the hell can he even say women came before me? Does he not know the meaning of "modern times?" Adam and Eve? He has no clue whatsoever about history, and yet preaches "history" and "enlightenment?" How much of a hypocrite can he be?

Shawn Wright: I did kind of notice that one too.

Jake Starr: Quite frankly I found that part hysterical! He's an idiot!

Shawn Wright: Yeah... You can say that again!

Jake Starr: I did like his attempt to use his sixth grade vocabulary.

Shawn Wright: What do you mean?

Jake Starr: His little comment about "beautiful allegories." I mean does he think crap like that is going to impress me? I mean I'm proud he pulled his little baby thesaurus out before he tried to "lash out" at me, but seriously... That was one of the DUMBEST lines an opponent has ever said to me.

Shawn Wright: Yeah... No kidding!

Jake Starr: And then, he goes to be even MORE hypocritical. He says he's not here to make any triumphant speech, yet he PREACHES and PROMOTES his whole evangelical "Alloccoism" bulls#it. To me, those two things don't even jive together. You can't be this proud "enlightener" and not be making triumphant speeches. In order to "enlighten" people, you have to PREACH your message. And whether or not it is speaking in words or actions... Speeches must be made! If he honestly thinks his little "enlightenment" campaign is a means of saving SCW, he is sorely mistaken. Stupidity between both "In-f_ck-tion," and Greaternity is killing this company, and ultimately will continue to rape and pillage the poor fans who have to actually endure the boringness and mediocrity of BOTH of their stereotypical and useless factions. And promoting a fact that he has no need for catch phrases... Again WHAT IS "ALLOCCOISM?!" IT'S A CATCHPHRASE!

Shawn continues laughing.

Jake Starr: Seriously! That is his whole SCHTICK! It's his whole dumb gimmick, and yet he says he doesn't need any phrases or...

Jake randomly sneezes.

Shawn Wright: Bless you...

Jake Starr: Thanks... Anyway, I have to continue pointing off his hypocrisy. After he was hypocritical about his catchphrases ad such, he then says he doesn't need a cause to wrestle. And yet not TWO MINUTES EARLIER he said he was here to save SCW from "The In-f_ck-tion." Wow... He really doesn't even listen to himself talk. He doesn't know what he says, and he doesn't even realize he contradicts himself within MINUTES.

Shawn Wright: Maybe he has Alzheimer's?

Jake Starr: Something! I mean forgetting what you say within minutes is a simple sign you need help!

Shawn Wright: No s#it!

Jake slightly changes his tone.

Jake Starr: One thing I can say positively about the kid is the fact he openly says he doesn't need Greaternity, and they're going to be handling Drachewych. He notices that if he were to get lucky, and beat me, he would have a right to say he has a shot at titles here. Unfortunately that won't be happening. But I figured I'd give the child some credit...

Shawn Wright: Isn't that sweet of you?

Jake Starr: I do try to be nice sometimes!

Jake returns to being surly.

Jake Starr: Back to bitching!

Shawn Wright: I knew it couldn't last too long!

Jake Starr: He doesn't know anything about respect. He ESPECIALLY doesn't know anything about who I do and do not have respect for. Kross and I didn't both play the victims. He and his band of "Holier Than Thou" f_ckwads know NOTHING of respect. If those guys want to learn respect, they all need to watch VERY closely at Breakdown. I taught their boy Alex respect at Retribution. I have knocked one member of Greaternity on his ass, and Adam will be the second! You see... He admits I don't have his respect, even though I took out one of the "champs" Greaternity ONCE had. He is trying to sound impressive by acting like I need to "earn" his respect. Quite frankly... Greaternity should be BEGGING for mine. I have been around this business longer than all of them combined, and ultimately better than all of them as well. They WILL respect me when I destroy Adam, and show how SOFT Greaternity is.

Shawn Wright: I believe that one!

Jake Starr: Trust me... This verbal retard, and his band of man-loving, train-pulling, think very highly of themselves. Hell, they all act just like the members of "The In-f_ck-tion." Hell in some cases, it's like their the same person, just wearing different clothes! I mean they all end up saying the same thing, they just rearrange how they say it... They really all sound like maybe they are the equivalent of maybe two or three people. That is how UNINTERESTING and UNENTERTAINING the combined efforts of Greaternity and "The In-f_ck-tion" are. Half the time, I don't even realize who is talking. Sometimes I think I am listening to Greaternity's, Alex Desoubrais Jr., and it turns out the whole time I was listening to "Dirty Sanchez" himself, Mr. Drachewych. Crazy isn't it?! You can confuse all of these monotonous, overdone, same characters you see in wrestling everywhere, with one another. Shows the complete lack of creativity among these pieces of garbage.

With those final words, Jake leaves the room. Shawn chases after him, and the scene slowly fades to black. With the harsh words Jake had for both Greaternity and The Infection, how will they respond? What repercussions will Starr have for the negative comments he has made? As Breakdown approaches, the answers should become illuminated.

Back to Role Play Archive | Home