Personal Bio Wrestler Bio
RP Archive Affiliates
Contact Me

The Social Misfits made an impact on Wednesday's Adrenaline show. They defeated the RWA's Television and Tag Team Champions in a six-man tag team contest. After that victory, Andrew Foley decided to make a couple matches for the July pay per view, Resurrection. The first match, Bane and Kold Killa have been given a shot at the Tag Team Championship Belts against The Young One and Cody Carson. The second match, Jake Starr will be given a chance to fight for the RWA's Television Championship. Why was this match made? That question is on the minds of many people. Jake has been noted as saying that he is completely dumbfounded by the matches being made. Regardless... Jake has said he WILL go into the match and WILL win. Nevertheless though, Jake is seriously unhappy with the decisions Andrew Foley has made. What kind of message will Jake Starr convey whenever he cuts his next promo? Will he lash out against Andrew Foley for his actions? Will he exhibit any self control? This is a question that will hopefully be answered in the near future.

The scene fades in as Jake Starr is seen in a complete tirade in his penthouse. He picks up a glass and throws it, like a baseball pitcher, into the wall. The glass shards fly everywhere. It is obvious that Jake has not shaved in a while. He continues to pace back and forth, trying to let out all of the anger and emotion that is pent up inside of him. The camera is trying to dodge Jake... Jake realizes the camera is there... So instead of just ignoring it, he just looks deep into the camera and begins lashing out towards Andrew Foley.

Jake Starr: Andrew Foley... This comes from Jake Starr the human, and not the employee. I want you to listen closely to this because I'm sick and tired of you low balling me and my talents. I'm sick and tired of people who I've never seen or heard of, getting these pushes that NOBODY feels they deserve. Answer me this... In the time I have been here in the RWA, when, ONCE, has this Prophet character even done a promo? When has he even made his presence known? Not in the two-plus weeks that I have been here. And yet... You suck his d!ck and hand him a shot at Shawn Walsh? Where is the f_cking sense in that? There you go! There is none! Prophet is just one of your close friends, so you let him have what many would argue, I DESERVE MORE THAN HIM! But alas... I don't just smile and let you walk all over me... So I get the short end of the f_cking stick! All you have done in my time here is give your druggie friends pushes, and give the REAL TALENT NOTHING!

Jake starts to gather up the shards of glass from the glass he smashed against the wall.

Jake Starr: You don't care whether or not this place lives long or dies. You really don't! YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THIS involves the match you issued on the last Adrenaline card. You came up to Bane, Kold Killa, and myself, and said that you had made this great match lined up for us. You said it would help us really get ahead here in RWA. And then what did you do? You walked away from us, right after you had gotten our hopes up, and then you made a match with three guys whom we had NO CONNECTION TO! Why? Where was the logical point to it? In your head? We had visions of actually getting to fight some people who really meant something here. You had us believing it would be Deacon Cage and/or Shawn Walsh. But NO! You send three guys who aren't even REMOTELY in our league at us. WHY?!?!

Jake throws the glass shards into the garbage.

Jake Starr: So when we express our displeasure, you decided to give us the run-around again. You came up to us, and told us "Hey, make your own angles happen," and then turn right around and decide you're going to totally screw every idea we had over. You are a complete, two-faced, pathetic excuse for an owner of a federation. This isn't about angles... Pushes... Or any other bullsh!t like that. This is Jake Starr being Jake Starr. I'm sick of it... And I SERIOUSLY suggest that if you want this company to succeed and last, you change your attitude. If you want The Social Misfits to continue to help bring in exorbitant amounts of fans to the show, you need to stop playing OBVIOUS favoritism. Because don't you even think for ONE SECOND that the RWA is the only place that we could succeed at. We're here because we saw opportunity, and you preached opportunity. Now you have done a completely 180 degree turn. So you had better SHAPE UP, or enjoy watching your company go down the toilet!

Jake's cell phone rings. Jake walks over to the table and picks it up. He looks on the caller ID and realizes it is Bane on the phone. He quickly flips the top of his phone and puts it to his ear. The conversation can be heard over the television which this whole promo is being seen on.

Jake Starr: This is Jake...

Voice of Bane: Hey bro it's me!

Jake Starr: What's up?

Voice of Bane: Not much... Killa and I were at the bar down the street, and got a call from the Headquarters that there was some commotion coming from your penthouse. I was calling to make sure you're doing OK...

Jake Starr: Yeah I'm fine... I threw a glass against the wall...

Voice of Bane: And you did that why?

Jake Starr: Andrew Foley f_cking pissed me off!

Voice of Bane: I can understand that...

Jake Starr: And I'm sorry... It is deliberate. He is insulting our character and intelligence!

Voice of Bane: Well Killa and I aren't too particularly thrilled either...

Jake Starr: I don't f_cking blame you!

Voice of Bane: You want us to come up that way?

Jake Starr: If you want... I'll admit I'm pretty steamed...

Voice of Bane: No sh!t... If you're becoming a vandal I would assume you're pretty steamed...

Jake Starr: There is a camera here too...

Voice of Bane: Oh really?

Jake Starr: Yeah... I've already thrown a few insults Foley's way...

Voice of Bane: Please tell me you did it in character?

Jake Starr: F_CK NO!

Voice of Bane: Oh bro... That may not have been wise...

Jake Starr: Sh!t... After what he's pulled on us he deserves ANYTHING we throw his way!

Voice of Bane: What's this we sh!t? You're the one who said it!

Jake Starr: You know what I mean!

Voice of Bane: Oh lord... If you're going out of character against the owner... I think it'd be good if we came up there and tried to calm you down.

Jake Starr: Good luck

Voice of Bane: Alright bro... See you see shortly!

Jake Starr: Gotcha...

Voice of Bane: Later bro!

Jake Starr: Later!

Jake hangs his phone up and focuses back on the camera that is there in his penthouse.

Jake Starr: Well... I guess since I'm against this character, who I guess is supposed to be worth a damn or something, and his name is what again...

From behind the camera, the camera man shouts the name of Jake's opponent.

Jake Starr: Oh yeah... The other Andrew... Andrew Flash! You are an unfortunate soul Mr. Flash. Why do I say that? Because you're entering a match as a champion, against a man who is utterly pissed off. I am fueled by complete rage. Your fellow Andrew, Andrew Foley, has dared to overstep the boundary lines of an owner of a federation. He has gone from just being an owner, to being a biased owner. And I am one person who will NOT stand for sh!t like that. But I am also not one who will negate to prove a point. Andrew Foley sees you as someone who is actually on the same level as me. Sadly that is not true. You know, as well as I do, that you are almost as far from "my league" as they can come. That pathetic piece of tin that you carry around your waist will become mine, and from there, it will become a piece of RWA history. Why? Because once I get it I plan on tossing it into the garbage. I figure the entire RWA is going to the trash, so why not help it along. But like I said... It is unfortunate that you will be receiving such a beating that is lined up for you. Maybe... Just maybe... You'll save some face even when you lose. Andrew Foley holds you in such high standards... And yet... You're going to lose the match... You're going to lose your piece of trash title as well...

The bell on the elevator sounds. The camera quickly turns to see Bane and Kold Killa walking off of the elevator. They walk into the room with Jake Starr and are quickly greeted by their Social Misfit brother. Their conversation is captured by the same camera.

Kold Killa: I love what you've done with the place!

Jake Starr: Oh please son!

Bane: You haven't destroyed anything else have you?

Jake Starr: Nah... I vented to the camera... I figure once Foley sees what all I told him, I'll have some more reason to destroy things.

Bane: You're not going to get us fired are you?

Jake Starr: Oh maybe... But if we get fired, we know we have hit the nail on the head...

Kold Killa: He has a point Bane...

Bane: How so?

Kold Killa: Think about what happened with ACW... The minute we exposed everything for what it was... We got the big, fat, boot!

Jake Starr: Hooray for "das boot!"

Bane: I got your point now!

Jake Starr: Yeah... So we'll know for sure once Foley hears this!

Kold Killa: You know... He didn't suspend you for the whole "Dicks and Dykes" thing... Maybe he'll actually let this slide too!

Jake Starr: Wow...

Kold Killa: What?

Jake Starr: You shockingly have a point! And it's not in your pants!

Bane: Now he has a point!

Jake Starr: Wow... We all have points!

Kold Killa: I have more than one!

Jake looks at Killa and shakes his head!

Bane: I'm about to send you back to the bathroom to go stroke it again!

Jake Starr: And why do you get the boner when you're around us?!

Kold Killa: You provide me with the strippers! So the ambiance just makes me aroused!

Jake Starr: Frighteningly... I believe that!

Bane: Yeah me too...

All three of the Social Misfits go and sit down in their respective "places." Jake shifts the topic of conversation as they sit down.

Jake Starr: So you two aren't thrilled with your match either...?

Bane: Not really... I mean all three of us here are primarily singles superstars. But any pieces of gold we can bring to our group will help us grow in popularity.

Jake Starr: That is true... BUT...

Kold Killa: I found a moon rock in my nose!

Jake Starr: You interrupted me to tell us about picking your nose?

Kold Killa: I was trying to liven the mood...

Bane: Umm... Right...

Jake Starr: Anyway... Even if we bring "gold" to the group, it doesn't mean that gold is particularly respected. For example... Tell me how respected is the TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP?!

Kold Killa: It's a piece of crap!

Bane: Now I agree with that!

Jake Starr: So my plan is... Once I win that belt... To toss that piece of sh!t in the garbage!

Bane: YOU'RE KIDDING ME?!

Kold Killa: HOLY CRAP!

Jake Starr: I'm serious... That belt is going in the trash because that's what I think it is... TRASH!

Bane: That is harsh bro!

Jake Starr: Well I figure that MAYBE... Just MAYBE... This will get our point across.

Bane: If it doesn't, they have some complete space cadets in this place...

Kold Killa: Now I would have to say, that right there is a proven fact already! The people here are morons!

For a second time since the camera has been viewing the group, Jake's cell phone rings again. Seeing as how everyone is already there with him, he honestly doesn't know who it could possibly be. Jake walks over to his phone and picks it up. The phone number on his phone is unfamiliar. Jake reluctantly flips the phone up and answers it.

Jake Starr: This is Jake...

Voice: Jake Starr correct?

Jake Starr: Yes sir... Who am I speaking with?

Voice: Someone who is very interested in the talents of you and your companions.

Jake Starr: Ok...?

Voice: Well Jake... Did you receive a package in the mail that said not to open until you received a phone call?

Jake Starr: Yeah... I had the FBI test it for anthrax... It was clean so I kept it!

Voice: Very good! Is it handy?

Jake Starr: Yeah...

Jake walks over to a table with a bunch of, what looks to be, daily mail on it. He picks up a brown envelope and actually opens it.

Jake Starr: Ok I have opened the package.

Voice: Good... Actually are your companions around?

Jake Starr: Yeah... All of the Misfits are here with me.

Voice: Does your cellular phone have a speakerphone feature?

Jake Starr: Yeah...

Voice: Well then would it be too much to ask to be able to speak with all of you at once?

Jake Starr: Not at all...

Jake walks over to the den area and everyone sits down. Jake sets his cell phone in the middle of the table and switches on the speakerphone feature. The other two Social Misfits are still very unsure about what is going on.

Bane: Ok bro what's this about?

Jake Starr: This guy on the phone sent us this package... And is interested in our talents.

Bane: Really?

Voice: Yes Bane... Really! First off, I have been scouting you guys for quite sometime now. Even back in the ACW days. Your talents are unmistakable...

Kold Killa: Try telling the RWA and ACW that...

Voice: I decided I would send you a packet about our organization to see if you possibly would be interested.

Jake Starr: Yeah we have the packet here in front of us...

Voice: I elected to highlight the major aspects of our organization. During your free agent hunt, I wrote down your demands of an organization. If you would notice that on page three, we fit the majority of those demands.

Bane: Here bro let me have a look...

Jake Starr: Alright...

Voice: Bane... I know you're one of the most critical of the group. I hope you would be willing to criticize anything you find controversial in there.

Bane: If you know us like you say you do... You should know I won't have any problem with that!

Bane looks the packet over. He begins nodding as if he accepts a lot of the stuff they have been presented with.

Bane: You know bro... Doesn't look too bad!

Kold Killa: I WANT TO SEE!

Jake Starr: Then take the damn thing! You don't have to whine about it!

Kold Killa: Oh... Ok!

Kold Killa looks the packet over, and is shocked by how much everything fits what the group is looking for.

Kold Killa: This is impressive!

Voice: Well thank you...

Jake Starr: Answer me this... Are you guys a "good ole boys" system, or do you actually allow everyone an equal chance to move ahead?

Voice: If you work hard, and show your true dedication, you are given an equal opportunity. But, I believe you'd agree, if you're not dedicated, you don't deserve a chance to move ahead.

Jake Starr: Yeah I'll concur with that.

Bane: Obviously that is one policy that the RWA does not live under.

Kold Killa: Isn't that the damned truth!

Voice: Well, as you can also tell, we've been around for close to seven years... We have a proven track record and pride ourselves in having equality, bringing in new talent and giving them a chance to move ahead, and we also pride ourselves in being one of the best of the best. We aren't terribly picky on picking possible recruits, but we do have some standards that people must live up to.

Jake Starr: I like hearing that...

Bane: Yeah... Me too!

Voice: We definitely like hearing that you are impressed with our look.

Kold Killa: We're just excited that somewhere REAL is interested in us...

Voice: And we know that you'll be a wonderful, dedicated, addition to our organization, should you choose to accept.

Jake Starr: Well we'll definitely consider it...

Voice: Well like I said... I just wanted to get in contact with you all, and make sure you understand the offer we're making you.

Bane gets the packet back.

Bane: I think we definitely understand!

Voice: Should I contact you again at a later time to further discuss this matter?

Jake Starr: After this pay per "screwed" for RWA, we'll immediately get in contact with you.

Voice: We'll I have it ordered so I can see what happens!

Jake Starr: We have plans as well... So be prepared for some good surprises either during or after...

Voice: Why not during?

Bane: Because the owner, Andrew Foley, is a jerk-off and will purposely keep cameras off of us as much as possible.

Jake Starr: Yeah... He hates giving us airtime!

Voice: Well that wouldn't be a problem with us!

Jake Starr: Good! We'll get a hold of you after the pay per view...

Voice: Very good! Thank you for entertaining our ideas!

Jake Starr: Thanks for entertaining the thought of having us!

Voice: Good luck guys...

Jake Starr: Thanks...

Bane: Thanks...

Kold Killa: Thank ya!

Voice: Bye guys!

Jake Starr: Later!

Jake hangs up the phone and switches on the television. Upon switching on his television, Andrew Flash, Jake's opponent for the pay per view, is on cutting a promo. Jake hushes his fellow Misfits so he can listen to what his opponent has to say. Upon the conclusion of Andrew Flash's promo, Jake quickly looks up at the camera, and motions for it to prepare for more comments from the challenger. Jake switches off the television and begins speaking out towards Andrew Flash.

Jake Starr: Well well well... Talk about a shock! The man who is supposed to be a champion actually cut a promo. I'm impressed. Although he took his little cheap shot early. That whole comment about "TRUE champions do what they have to do. They don't win a couple of matches and complain," was obviously a very BAD attempt to make me look bad. Andrew... You don't seem to understand why I am so up-in-arms about this. You see... You suck Foley's microscopic penis daily. So you get whatever you want. You can get away with whatever you want. One good example... Is the really pathetic scenario you had your promo set in. Backstage at Resurrection? Have you moved into the arena? If you have... Do the owners of the land and arena know? Do they charge you rent? Or do you perform sexual favors in return for lodging? Never mind... I don't want to know! My favorite part was when I was called a "dirty bastard!" Why? Because I mean I live in this luxurious penthouse, I drive the cars that make even the modern rappers go "damn," and on top of that... I'm ten-times better than you'll ever be! So sorry my friend... You and that nappy-@$$ hair of yours is the "dirty bastard" here.

Kold Killa decides to throw in a smart-@$$ed comment...

Kold Killa: Another way you're not a bastard is that you know your father!

Bane: Yeah... Last time I checked, Andrew Flash's birth certificate didn't have a father's name on it.

Jake Starr: Maybe artificial insemination?

Bane: He'd still be a bastard!

Jake Starr: Anyway... You like to ramble about how you're going to take all of aggression you have pent up inside of you, and use it on me? Sorry buddy... You're not going to get a chance. Why? Because I'm never going to bend over and let you get a chance. That little piece of metal, which you covet so dearly, is not going to be yours very much longer. It's going to be mine... Then it is going to belong to the land fill. And what is with this "simply electrifying" nonsense? You make no sense! If you are "simply electrifying," you'd be under the knife in some scientific research laboratory. They'd be trying to find the source of this "simple electricity." But regardless... You are hell bent on abusing poor little reporters, and masturbating for grown, horny, men... But those obsessions won't help you once you enter the ring with me. You see... Not only will I become a Television Champion that people can actually look up to and respect, but I'll make this company look like the roost that it is. There is so much incentive for me to completely destroy you, why wouldn't I? I'm going to make a mockery of you, your title, and this company. So... Enjoy that empty arena you're living in. So uncreative... I just can't get over that... Anyway... Enjoy that arena... Enjoy watching yourself take a cumshot to the eye... And pray that you live past the pay per view. Because those odds, according to the Las Vegas bookies, are pretty slim-to-none!

Jake completes his comments towards his opponent, and stands up. His fellow Social Misfits follow in suit. The camera follows them as far as the elevator. As the three step in and turn around, Kold Killa and Bane flip the camera off... And Jake Starr gives one of his traditional "crotch chops," then proceeds to flip the camera off as well. How will this promo effect Jake Starr in RWA? Who was the man making the Social Misfits an offer? What kind of offer was he making them? Will Jake Starr really disgrace the Television Championship by throwing it in the trash can? These, as well as many other questions, will be answered as RWA presents, Resurrection.

Back to Role Play Archive | Home