Personal Bio Wrestler Bio
RP Archive Affiliates
Contact Me

One day after the "Social Misfits" made their debut in RWA, Jake Starr and Kold Killa have appeared on the next Wednesday Adrenaline card. They'll be going up against one of the strongest tag teams in RWA history, Eric Badger and The Captain. Jake Starr, an avid opposition to the tag team circuit, is rather upset with the fact that he has been included in this match. Nevertheless, Jake will enter this match with the same fire that he does every other match. Although in previous tag team encounters, Jake has been paired with someone whom he didn't really approve of. This time, it's different. Jake is paired with one of his "partners in crime," Kold Killa. Kold Killa and Jake Starr have known each other for many years, and this will be their VERY FIRST tag team contest together. This contest could be the make or break point for the "Misfits". They could earn all of the credibility they want, or lose it all in one failed swoop. Regardless of what happens, the "Social Misfits" plan on making sure their presence is felt. How will they make an impact other than in their match? This match could have very serious consequences if things go awry.

As the camera fades in, a strip club is seen in the frame. Beautiful women dancing on polls and giving customers lap dances are all over the scene. There is an entourage of women in one corner of the facility all surrounding, what looks to be, two men. As the camera gets closer, new RWA members Kold Killa and Jake Starr are seen sitting there talking to the women. Some of the women are begging for autographs, others are offering their services for free. Jake just sits back and enjoys the girls basically coddling to the two. A couple of the women are trying to get Kold Killa to stand up and let them use him as a pole. Killa seems very reluctant, but Jake shoves him out of the booth and the girls latch onto him. They begin virtually giving him a vertical lap dance. Killa's reluctance makes Jake laugh. He can tell that Killa is enjoying himself, although he knows he won't admit it... YET! Jake buries his head in his hands laughing profusely, as Killa begins to make an attempt to dance with the girls. Jake glances over at one of the televisions near the bar. He catches a glimpse of Eric Badger cutting the opening promo for their match. Jake's glee quickly shifts to a serious look. Kold Killa looks over and sees Jake's sudden change in appearance. He sees Jake looking towards the bad, and glances over himself. He sees the same thing Jake does. Jake quickly scoots out of the bar and makes his way over to right in front of the television. He demands that the bartender turn the television up. The television volume is increased right as Badger begins to comment about the pair. Jake watches contently until the end of the promo. Jake smirks at the feeble attempt at smack-talk that Badger did. He walks back over to Kold Killa and explains what he just witnessed.

Jake Starr: Oh my God... You will not BELIEVE what crap that Eric Badger just let come out of his mouth.

Kold Killa: Was it brown?

Jake Starr: And green too!

Kold Killa: Ew!

Jake Starr: Yeah no joke!

Kold Killa: Anyway, what did he say?

Jake Starr: Well... Honestly he tried to talk like me!

Kold Killa: How so?

Jake Starr: He made homosexual comments!

Kold Killa: You're kidding?!

Jake Starr: Nope!

Kold Killa: Talk about a shocker!

Jake Starr: Yeah... It was a feeble attempt at sounding as convincing as I do!

Kold Killa shifts the subject back to their past.

Kold Killa: Ha ha! Didn't you get suspended for that kind of sh!t?

Jake Starr: I think so! But I figure if this "Joe Schmo" can talk like that... I can do it too!

Kold Killa: Oh lord!

Jake Starr: You're damn right!

Kold Killa: Knowing your luck... It'll be ACW all over again!

Jake Starr: ... You know, he started trying to make fun of ACW in his little promo!

Kold Killa: Shouldn't have been too difficult.

Jake Starr: Yeah... I think he was hoping that by insulting the ACW, of all places, we'd get pissed of or something.

Kold Killa: I guess he doesn't understand our past.

Jake Starr: Obviously not! I guess he thinks that we have some love for ACW...

Kold Killa: HA YEAH RIGHT! We made that place fold under. And we even warned them about the inevitable if they didn't listen.

Jake Starr: Damn straight... I warned those two chodes that the ACW would die if they screwed us over. We organized the coup, and what happened? ACW died, like the pathetic excuse for a federation that it is.

Kold Killa: They deserved it!

Jake Starr: True...

Jake refocuses the conversation.

Jake Starr: ... But let's make sure we know our main focus, The Captain and Tennille!

Kold Killa: You mean Eric Badger?

Jake Starr: Whatever... He isn't worth having a real name!

Kold Killa: Agreed!

The bouncer from the front door approaches the "Social Misfits" with something in his hand. He walks up to Jake Starr, and Jake realizes he is the one the bouncer wishes to speak with.

Bouncer: Mr. Starr?

Jake Starr: Looking at you...

Bouncer: This was just delivered for you.

Jake Starr: Alright thanks!

Jake takes the bag that was delivered for him. He looks inside and explodes with utter laughter. Everyone in the bar has now crowded around the pair wondering what is in the bag. Kold Killa is the first to inquire about the nature of the package.

Kold Killa: What's up man?

Jake Starr: Do you remember what ultimately got me suspended in ACW?

Kold Killa: You telling off the owner?

Jake Starr: No... Before that...

Kold Killa: You talking bad about the owners rectal breachers?

Jake Starr: Close...

Jake reaches in the bag and pulls out a VHS cassette tape. Kold Killa's eyes get extremely large. He chuckles...

Kold Killa: YOU DIDN'T?!

Jake Starr: Oh baby... I did!

Kold Killa: Do you really think you should pull this stunt again?

Jake Starr: Why not? Tennille did in his pathetic excuse for a promo...

Kold Killa: Yeah but... He didn't do... THIS!

Jake Starr: Your point?

Kold Killa: Jake... You know I'm not usually the voice of reason but... Do you really want to risk your career this early in RWA?

Jake Starr: Killa, you need to understand I'm not risking ANYTHING! I have a clause in my contract that says I can't get in trouble for what I do in promos.


Jake Starr: You think I'm going to get suspended twice? F_ck no!

Kold Killa: Oh my lord! This means...

Jake Starr: Things could get really good!

Kold Killa: Well... I was thinking that this means "business is about to pickup."

Jake Starr: OH BUDDY... Is it ever! Hang on one sec...

Jake starts moving back towards the bar. He approaches the bartender, video in hand.

Jake Starr: Hey bartender...

Bartender: Yessir?

Jake Starr: You guys have a VCR handy?

Bartender: Actually yeah! It's hooked up to that projector...

Jake Starr: The projector to the big screen?

Bartender: That would be the projector I speak of!

Jake Starr: You are so sh!tting me?!

Bartender: Honestly... I'm not!

Jake Starr: Ok... How do I get this video tape onto that big screen?

Bartender: I'll take it and have it up there momentarily!

Jake Starr: OH HELL YEAH!

Jake looks back at his entourage. The group is standing there just waiting for what he has to say.

Jake Starr: ALRIGHT BOYS AND GIRLS... In the words of Sting... IT'S SHOWTIME FOLKS!

Jake leads the group over in front of the big screen projector. Many of the "locals" have joined this group just to see whats going on. Jake plops himself down right in front of the projector. Some of the others, including Kold Killa, sit down in chairs, while the rest start standing around. The stereotypical "countdown" seen before movies begins flashing on the screen. Jake yells at the bartender to crank up the volume. The camera that has been filming this whole thing zooms in on the screen. Once the camera gets close enough, the video showing on the projector takes over and is full-frame on the screen. A talk show set is seen, filled with rainbows and gay pride memorabilia. An announcer is heard over the video.

Philip McKnuts: Ladies and gentlemen, boys with toys, from Studio COK in sunny, rainbow-laden, Los Angeles, CA... I welcome you all to...

The audience screams loud, but being of homosexual nature, sound like a group of excited women.


Philip McKnuts: That's right my fine pieces of white magic! This IS Dicks and Dykes, the only talk show where everything is truly HOMO!

The crowd begins to laugh and clap all at once.

Philip McKnuts: Now, without any further adieux, let me introduce to you the host of our fine homogenous show... He is the man who gives new meaning to "Balls to the Wall," and his name is Dickin Diaz!

From stage left scampers in Dickin Diaz. A man who is wearing a hot pink, Freddy Mercury-like, shirt that only goes barely below his man-boobs. He is also wearing his traditional "Daisy Duke" shorts that were never intended for men to wear. He comes right to the middle of the stage, turns his back to the crowd and bends over. The men go insane and wistle for him. He is handed his microphone by his homosexual, midget, stagehand and he begins to speak.

Dickin Diaz: Oh my lover of massive penises! What an ovation! I am in shock of how loud you people are. Anyway... I am Mr. and Mrs. Dickin Diaz, just depends on the day of the week, and as I always say... Yes I love it too!

Another, very feminine, ovation is heard from the audience, Dickin turns and bends over again, once again receiving the very queer-ish wistles from the crowd.

Dickin Diaz: Today, as always, is a very special show. It's my first "wrestling oriented" show since the whole issue with Rob Hardy, Krazzy Kidd, and Mr. WS... We all know how traumatic that was for me. That Rob Hardy was a piece of work wasn't he? And to think... ACW closed down because he came out of the closet. I have told him to contact the ACLU and they'd handle it! But alas... No! He decided to move on with his two limp-dicked friends.

Crowd: Awwwwwwww!

Dickin Diaz: No... No... Don't feel bad for me! I've moved on! I have two NEW boy-toys now! Aren't you proud of me hehe!

The crowds makes a noise that sounds something like a cheer.

Dickin Diaz: But like I said... This is a very, VERY, special night for me. I have my two boy-toys here on the show TODAY!!!! I'm so excited. And you know... I am very proud to say that I have had both of them inside me at once!



Dickin Diaz: That's right! They BOTH fit inside me! But anyways... They were very mistreated the other day in their wrestling organization, RWA. And by who else? Those same miscreants who hurt Rob, Kidd, and WS! Yes I'm talking about Jake Starr, Kold Killa, and Bane. My two boy-toys get to fight Jake Starr and Kold Killa on Wednesday of next week. And I KNOW... I KNOW deep down inside my @$$ that they'll be able to make me proud. So without me talking any longer, let me bring our my new sex Gods, ERIC BADGER and THE CAPTAIN!

Two very bad actors, dressed very similar to the RWA superstars, skip out on stage. They both walk up to Dickin Diaz and grab his package and kiss him. This arouses the male part of the audience. The two actors skip up to their chairs and sit down. Both spread their legs wide open so that everyone can see their packages through their tight gym shorts. Dickin begins the interview with the two.

Dickin Diaz: Oh my little two stud muffins. How WONDERFUL it is to see you again. By the way, I must say I really enjoyed last night!

"The Captain": Oh we did too my little drag queen you!

"Eric Badger": Oh yes! That mouth and buttocks of yours is just to die for!

Dickin Diaz: Now boys... Let me ask you a question, I have dealt with those two heteros before. Well not like that... But I wouldn't mind... Do you fear them?

"The Captain": The only thing I fear is me getting the urge to penetrate those tight @$$es of theirs. I mean good God... Those specimines are almost to die for!

"Eric Badger": Oh yes... I'd love to have their love juice all over me!

"The Captain": Oh is MINE not good enough?

"Eric Badger": Oh shut up b!tch you know I can have all of the man chowder I want! We agreed that we can suck all of the cocks we want until the court rules that we're allowed to be married in the state of Utah!

"The Captain": Oh yeah... I forgot! Tee hee!

"Eric Badger": Now I guess I should say what I fear... I fear them trying to rape me in the middle of the ring!

The audience gasps and Dickin Diaz is in shock!

Dickin Diaz: You actually fear that?

"Eric Badger": Oh whoops my bad! I started thinking about what I'd LIKE for them to do! Oh damn... I think I'd fear them actually trying to hurt me. I'm very fragile you know!

"The Captain": But in your little promo thing, you actually sounded so manly!

"Eric Badger": Oh please... I just say what I'm paid to say! I know that I'd start trying to slap them and f_ck them rather than win!

Dickin Diaz: Wouldn't we all?

"The Captain": I know I'd love to just go up to him and say "Suck Me Wank, Or Walk Me Plank!". That whole pirate bit I find so amusing!

Dickin Diaz: It's so... Manly!

"Eric Badger": Don't say that, you'll make his ego even bigger than his penis!

Dickin Diaz: And let me say... It's a fine one at that!

There is a giggle from the men in the audience.

"The Captain": Oh I know my penis is God-like!

Dickin Diaz: Oh yes honey! Yes it is! And your jizz tastes so sweet. Speaking of... Did you get my request for a bottle full of it?

"The Captain": Yes! And I had Eric here contributed a little for flavoring. I got to lick off the excess!

Dickin Diaz: Oh you dog!

"Eric Badger": What can I say? People say it tastes like Pepsi!

Dickin Diaz: PEPSI?!

"Eric Badger": Yes big daddy!

Dickin Diaz: Yum! Might I try some afterwards?

"Eric Badger": After the show?

Dickin Diaz: Sure!

"Eric Badger": Of course! As long as you get to pound my throbbing @$$ with... Well you know with what!

"The Captain": Oh my goodness! Can we pull a train as a team?


A voice over the PA system is heard...

Philip McKnuts: Oh Dickie-Doo...

Dickin Diaz: Yes "My Nuts"? I mean McNutz?

Philip McKnuts: I'd like to be the caboose if we're pulling a train!

Dickin Diaz: Oh honey... I don't know if they could handle you!

Philip McKnuts: It'd be worth it for you guys!

"The Captain": Sure my big dicked brother! Then can we all spread our love juice over each other?

"Eric Badger": I wouldn't have it any other way!!!!

"The Captain": Me neither!

Dickin Diaz: Well then... Folks I'm sorry... But this show is over! It's time for me to go and get my @$$ pounded while pounding some of my own. Until next time... Remember our motto...


The crowd applauds and the scene fades to black. The camera recaptures the frame and begins to zoom out, away from the projector screen. Everyone watching has either gotten tears in their eyes from laughing, or has fallen in the floor with laughter. This does include Jake Starr, even though he's the one who had the tape made. The camera zooms in on Kold Killa and Jake Starr...


Jake Starr: Do I hear those censors and suspension bells ringing?

Kold Killa: Ding ding! I'd sure as hell say so!

Jake Starr: Just wait til I give my opening monologue to these guys...

Kold Killa: Oh lord... You can't be serious!

Jake Starr: Oh I plan on topping that sh!t!

Kold Killa: And WHEN do you plan on doing this?

Jake Starr: Oh I don't know... Now seems like a good time...

Kold Killa: Oh lord!

Jake looks over at the camera that's been doing the filming. He turns a chair around and faces straight into the camera. The camera adjusts itself a bit to be able to capture everything that is said. Jake slouches into his chair and gets a cocky grin on his face. He looks around at the crowd around him, looks back at the camera, and begins to speak out towards his opponent for Wednesday's Adrenaline.

Jake Starr: Well well well... For my first promo I felt it would be appropriate that I just go straight at the two jerk-offs that I've been thrown into a match with on Wednesday. They're The Captain and Tennille... I mean Eric Badger. I'm sorry I just keep thinking about that little segment that I just screened for these guys here. I swear, any pair like those two has to be smoking each others poles. Why? Couldn't you just hear The Captain walking up to the "Canadian Pussy"... I mean "Canadian Beaver" and say "Arrrrgh ye matey... You will suck me wank or your dick will stank (with my crusty poop)."? Doesn't that just fit these two? I think it does! I think these two share a secret love for one another that could only be unveiled on Jerry Springer or Maury. Well... Then again Oprah likes those sob stories so she may actually let the fudge packers come on her show. Hell I bet she'd give them a house too! She loves to give sh!t away. Hey Captain and Tennille... Call Oprah... She may help you guys buy some new sex toys... That way you won't have to use that little butter knife that The Captain carries on his belt.

Jake is brought a drink from the waitress. He drinks it down really quick and sets the glass back on the waitresses tray. He focuses back on the camera and continues...

Jake Starr: Now I want to take some time and focus on Tennille alone. He's the one that I saw a few minutes ago making a SAD, SAD, ATTEMPT, and making an intelligent promo using homosexual insults. Seriously son... That was pathetic. You need to go back to Canada and have the entire Toronto Gayple Queefs team, ESPECIALLY Tie Domi and Mats Sundin, give you a "refresher course" in homosexuality. Being around that "butt pirate" for too long has caused you to forget your Canadian, homosexual, roots. You began that pathetic attempt of a promo by insulting the ACW. Hell son if you want to insult ACW join the club. That place was a disgrace to the wrestling industry. So if you think that little tirade was supposed to upset us... WRONG! You failed miserably there! All of those insults about ACW were a waste of your time bud. I know you're probably crying because you could have spent that time sucking your "butt pirate's" little penis. But oh well... Sh!t happens! Now moving on in that little promo of yours... You don't think I'm focusing on the present? Believe me you overgrown penile implant, I have all of my focus on beating you to a bloody pulp. No not pounding your @$$ to a bloody pulp... I'll leave that to your male jiggalos. I find it funny that you try to use MY GIMMICK against me with the whole homosexual thing. Son if you're going to do that, at least make some INTELLIGENT comments in there. I mean seriously... Joke Storr? Kold Kase Files? Sorry buddy... You lose that argument... And another thing that I don't understand... You try these homosexual insults towards me and the "Social Misfits," and then you turn around and admit that you're a beaver and your parther is a "crazy swashbuckler." You called yourself a pussy and your partner a "butt pirate." Who are you trying to insult here?! Us or yourself? It is very sad man... Insulting yourself. You may want to seek some professional help for that. No not professional men to help your craving for spludge... But psychiatric help! It would really help you out I think. Maybe give you some presence of mind.

Jake looks over at Kold Killa...

Jake Starr: You have anything to add?

Kold Killa: Nope... I'm good!

Jake Starr: Alright!

Jake looks back at the camera to conclude his comments.

Jake Starr: To wrap up... You two rectal breaches need to just sit back, enjoy each others company, and pray that you don't get killed at the hands of the "Social Misfits". Because Wednesday at Adrenaline, it's going to be you two who suffer the first loss at the hands of us. And it will be one of the many losses that the other superstars, besides us, suffer at the hands of the "Social Misfits". As sad as it may be... It's a fact jack@$$!

Jake stands up from the chair that he was sitting in. He turns back towards Kold Killa and the entourage, and begins to head for the door of the club. As he exits the camera begins to just look around the room at the many people still talking about what Jake just said. Will the "Social Misfits" deliver at Adrenaline? Will they make an impact on other aspects of the show as well? On Wednesday night answers will be given to the many questions that are out there.

Back to Role Play Archive | Home