Personal Bio Wrestler Bio
RP Archive Affiliates
Contact Me
In the world of the Independent Wrestling Cartel, the limbo-esque nature that has surrounded the World Championship will finally be coming to an end this Sunday at Paranoia.

And it couldn't come soon enough.

The war between Jake Starr and Jason Zero has reached its boiling point, and has begun to polarize the fan base that has surrounded both men. For Jason Zero, the loyalist to the Cartel have lined up behind him, and pledged their devout support. They have no interest, and no desire, to see an outsider, especially from SCW, come in and take over their top honor. Conversely, those fans who enjoy both products put forth by each organization have aligned themselves with whichever superstar they have felt loyal to all along.

What does that mean?

It's simple!

It means Jake Starr doesn't travel alone to Paranoia!

Jake Starr walks into hostile territory knowing he is the one most hope to see walk out disappointed and down-trodden. But he also knows it isn't a unanimous consortium of people against him. He knows that throughout the crowd will be fans of his hoping to see him scale another mountain, and achieve another accolade in his career. Even though he knows the numbers won't be in his favor, the fact he knows he has supporters helps his confidence continue to grow and grow.

It's a fact no opponent likes to know or hear going into a match with the last "Social Misfit" and "Czar of the Shooting Five Starr."

Every opponent Jake has ever faced knows that if he walked in with any kind of confidence, and any kind of support, he became exponentially more dangerous. And should that be the case at Paranoia... Jason Zero is in for an even greater challenge than he once predicted.

For now, however, the focus isn't on Paranoia for Jake. It's on his life at home, and his expecting wife, Roeper.

Since finding out they were parents-to-be, the rigmarole of preparing for parenthood has been strenuous on the pair. Even with the aide of his mother, Jake and Roeper have had to stress over wondering if they've forgotten any loose ends needed to be tied, or electrical sockets needed to be baby proofed.

Today marks another stressor for Roeper, as the pair have their first official "guests" coming for a visit since the pregnancy. They haven't really counted Jake's mom or the former Misfits because Jake's mom has been serving as a "maid" and a "go-fer" for the pair, and the Misfits only came for a few moments.

This visit is extended!

Since the plans were made, Roeper has had Jake frantically helping her clean and tidy in order to make sure everything is perfect for their guests. It has added yet another thing for Jake to worry about. Jake's mom has continued to focus on anything Roeper wanted or needed, hoping that will ease her stress as well.

As the two continue to make the final touches on their cleaning, Jake's mom enters the room, apparently about to leave to go somewhere.

Denise Starr: Alright y'all... I'm going to run a few errands for you guys, and buy a few things! Is there ANYTHING the two of you want or need me to do while I'm out?

Jake Starr: Hire the Merry Maids to finish this for me?

Roeper smacks Jake in the arm.

Jake Starr: It's a thought!

Roeper Hart: Not a particularly good one either!

Roeper looks up at Denise.

Roeper Hart: I honestly can't think of anything else we need right now.

Denise Starr: Alright! If you think of something, don't hesitate to call!

Roeper Hart: Alright!

Jake Starr: Sounds good!

Denise Starr: Bye guys!

Jake Starr: Bye Mom!

Denise walks out of the room, and exits out the front door. The latch of he door is heard engaging as she leaves.

Roeper Hart: Oh I hope we've cleaned up enough!

Jake lets out a slight chuckle towards his wife.

Roeper Hart: What?

Jake looks up at her, still grinning.

Jake Starr: Seriously... Why are you worried?

Roeper is obviously frustrated.

Roeper Hart: Ugh! How many times do I have to say, I want to make sure it's presentable!

Jake slowly closes his eyes, chuckles, and lightly shakes his head back and forth.

Roeper Hart: It's the first time we've had "real" company since we found out we were pregnant. I want to make a good impression on people when they come over. The baby does too!

Jake Starr: It's Shawn and Roxie!

Roeper Hart: EXACTLY!

Jake Starr: Dear... It's not like they haven't seen our house in disarray before. They've been here when I've trashed my office because of something wrestling related. Hell, they've come over the time after Brandon and I got excited about Google Wave!

Roeper slowly looks up at the ceiling, which still has a couple stains from the champagne they used in "celebratory" fashion. Jake looks up, and gets a chuckle out of the sight.

Roeper Hart: Listen... I just don't want to me embarrassed!

Jake grabs Roeper's hands as she tries to return to her frantic cleaning.

Jake Starr: Babe... Everything looks just fine!

As he tells her that, there is a knock at the front door.

Jake Starr: See... They're here now, so you're done anyway!

The two walk over to the front door, and open it, seeing Shawn and Roxie Wright standing on the other side. All four exchange embraces and pleasantries among each other, and Roxie shrieks with excitement, like a typical girl would.


Roeper Hart: Ha ha thanks!

Roxie Wright: I can't believe you two are going to be parents! I'm so excited!!

Jake Starr: I don't know why... But I think you're excited!

Roxie Wright: EEEEE!

Roxie embraces Roeper again, and is shaking from her giddy emotions.

Shawn Wright: Congrats man!

Jake Starr: Thanks bro!

Jake signals Shawn to follow him, while the girls head for the entertainment room to talk. The camera follows the ladies toward the entertainment room, while Roeper stops to grab them each a bottle of water. As they finally enter the room, they both take a seat on the couch, and Roxie wastes no time starting up the talk about the baby.

Roxie Wright: Oh my God, I'm so excited!

Roeper Hart: I can tell!

Roxie Wright: Aren't you?

Roeper Hart: Well... Yeah! Of course! I don't know if I've quite usurped into the level of excitement you're in, but I'm definitely excited!

Roxie Wright: Oh hush! You know you were just like this when I was pregnant!

Roeper begins to nod.

Roeper Hart: Very true!

Roxie Wright: I just can't believe y'all finally decided to try! It's about damn time though!

Roeper Hart: Ha ha... You don't know how many people have said the exact same thing!

Roxie Wright: Oh I can imagine... So do you guys know the sex of the baby yet?

Roeper Hart: Nah, not yet!

Roxie is completely shocked and taken aback by Roeper's response.

Roxie Wright: How come?!

Roeper Hart: Honestly... Our opinion of if we want to know or not changes by the day. So we decided that once we come to a definitive yes or no on the subject for more than one day, we'll know whether we want to or not, and find out if we want.

Roxie Wright: I guess that makes sense!

Roeper Hart: It should!

Roeper chuckles.

Roxie Wright: You guys pick out names?

Roeper Hart: A long time ago I compiled this massive list of names I liked, and basically submitted them to him for review. He took off ones he totally didn't like, and then added a few, and we've kind of been playing a "pick-em" game with them.

Roxie Wright: How so?

Roeper Hart: We actually threw all of the potential names in a hat and drew out pairs to see how they sounded.

Roxie Wright: Ha ha, you're kidding right?

Roeper Hart: Nope! We found out some names completely didn't go together!

Roxie Wright: Ha ha!

Roeper Hart: Some matches were OK though. But to answer the original question... We have one girl's name picked out, but nothing definitive on the boys' side.

Roxie Wright: So what is it?

Roeper Hart: Lillian Marie...

Roxie Wright: I love it!

Roeper Hart: Good! Because we do too!

Both take drinks of their water.

Roxie Wright: Now you know, while we're here if you need ANYTHING, you got it, right?

Roeper Hart: Ha ha, I think Jake's mom has that facet covered!

Roxie Wright: Oh please... She can't have covered everything! Hell, I could take you to get pampered!

Roeper Hart: Now that is true!

Roxie Wright: See! She doesn't have all of the bases covered!

Roeper Hart: Ha ha!

Roxie Wright: So... Have the nerves kicked in yet?

Roeper, mid-drink, almost dribbles water down her chin as she pulls the bottle away.

Roeper Hart: Like you wouldn't believe!

Roxie Wright: Jake nervous about being a father too?

Roeper Hart: He's nervous... But excited too!

Roxie Wright: Yeah, Shawn was the same way!

Roeper Hart: As far as I go... I'm nervous about several things right now, along with the baby, and thankfully Jake's mom has really helped pull some of it away from me, and off of him too.

Roxie Wright: Yeah... I can imagine...

Roeper Hart: Hell... There have been some days I find myself already counting down until the baby is on solid foods so I can have a damn drink!

Roxie begins to laugh.

Roeper Hart: But hopefully... HOPEFULLY... Things change soon for Jake, and everything begins to turn around...

As Roeper finishes her comment, the camera zooms out from the pair, and immediately catches up with the two men on the other side of the house entering Jake's office. Jake flops down in his chair, behind his desk, while Shawn leans on a table positioned across the room from Jake.

Shawn Wright: I'm proud of you, man!

Jake Starr: Why's that?

Shawn Wright: Finally taking the step into fatherhood. That's a big deal!

Jake smirks and nods.

Jake Starr: Thanks man, I appreciate it!

Shawn Wright: Seriously dude... That's a big thing! I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't have agreed to try if you weren't planning on plunging in feet first.

Jake Starr: Oh yeah! I'm all-in on this...

Shawn Wright: Good!

Shawn lifts up from the table he was leaning on and begins to slowly pace around the office.

Shawn Wright: So be honest... How are you doing?

Jake Starr: Honestly? Pretty well I think...

Shawn Wright: You sure?

Jake Starr: Yeah... Why?

Shawn Wright: I'm going to be honest man... Everything going on in the "business" sector of your life has me kind of worried.

Jake Starr: What do you mean?

Shawn Wright: All the stuff in SCW with the dissolving of the Social Misfits, the talk of "the end," this IWC mess with Zero, it's just kind of a lot to take in it seems...

Jake lifts one side of his mouth in a smirk, and begins to gently nod.

Jake Starr: I completely understand man... And just know that everything happens for a reason.

Shawn Wright: I know, but still... Ending the Misfits? That's just not right.

Jake Starr: Shawn... It was time...

Shawn stops pacing, and looks at Jake confused.

Shawn Wright: Why?

Jake Starr: It just was...

Shawn swallows and is visibly upset at the whole issue.

Jake Starr: ... So... There's no reason to dwell on it. There are bigger things to worry about now.

Shawn begins to bob his head up and down slowly.

Shawn Wright: Two World Title matches...

Jake Starr: ... More like my impending job as a father...

Shawn Wright: Oh... Yeah... Right...

With those final words, the two sit in complete, and somewhat awkward, silence, allowing the whole "ending" of the Social Misfits to, once again, cause a rift between Jake and someone he is close with.

The camera begins to slowly fade out with the two wives slowly approaching, and their voices being heard getting louder and louder as they approach. The two continue to remain quiet, and almost ignorant to the "moment" they just had as their wives enter Jake's office. The foursome begin to go about a normal routine, with Jake and Shawn acting completely oblivious to what had happened prior to their wives arrival.

Jake's focus now turns towards entertaining his friends, but also to Paranoia, where his date with Jason Zero, and the battle for the IWC World Championship looms. He knows his opponent cannot be thrilled with some of the things he has had to say recently about him, nor does he expect his opponent to pull any punches when he lashes out towards him next.

Nevertheless... Jake plans on entering the world of the Cartel an outsider, and leaving the world of the Cartel as its leader.

Shawn Wright is seen standing alone against a black background.

Shawn Wright: Hello everyone... Due to the ever-changing nature of this business, and Jake's commitment to being one of those who likes to jump onto the "newest trends," he asked me to stand here, and in a sense, give a FOREWORD to the words you're about to hear.

I've known Jake for many years, and, well, I can't say enough nice things about him.

With this match of his coming up, I know the world is on the edge of their seat wondering what Jake will be saying next. I assure you, these comments are bold!

They're brave!


They're deep!

Jake is someone who prides himself on making statements for the enjoyment of the public, and I assure you, they're going to do just that.

As his opponents may have preludes, interludes, intermissions due to extraordinary, and unnecessary length, Q&As, fairy tales, and a hodgepodge of metaphors attempting to relate to their ascension over Jake, Jake himself simply tells it like it is, and I thank him for asking me to stand here before you, and deliver this message.

Please sit back, and enjoy my friend!

The scene of Shawn fades to black.

Jake Starr: By my calculations, which I know are far from, if ever, wrong, I am little over 72 hours away from becoming the UNDISPUTED World Champion of the Independent Wrestling Cartel.

Now I must admit "undisputed" is a tongue-and-cheek way of describing it, because everyone knows my opponent, his brother, and their bulbous-wiener friend, will dispute it every day of the week.

It's true!

But nevertheless, Sunday marks a day that will live in infamy in the eyes and minds of those who have followed the Cartel and SCW through their storied battles for supremacy. It's a day that will mark the changing of the guard, and most likely names of some people, in this industry. It will put SCW on the map as the, truly, SUPREME entity, and I will proudly claim it as my home, even as I trudge through the competition the Cartel throws my way as well.

Honestly, I can't wait for it!

See, I remember the days when I first arrived on the scene in SCW, and had very little, if any, knowledge of the Cartel, it's unique talent (meaning those who don't cross back and forth), and their abilities in the ring. I had no interest in learning about it. I had no desire to become a part of it. All I wanted to do was ascend through the rankings of SCW, and cement myself as the best of the best.

Then strange things began to happen!

People started approaching me in secret, and pointing out people they saw as "superior," and people they saw as "the best." They asked me for assistance in breaking these "superior" talents down, and finding their weaknesses and flaws. They asked me to secretly aide them in training for these matches they'd face.

In essence, I was drug into the IWC world, like it or not.

This whole situation ultimately culminated at the 2 for 1 Special, where the Cartel and SCW clashed for, what was initially thought to be, pure bragging rights. Hell... Initially, Cherry could only pin me to win the SCW Championship, and Savior could only pin my opponent to become Champion of IWC. After seeing the error of their initial ways, they decided to up the ante...

You pin a champion, you're it!

It's plain!

It's simple!

It made sense!

So, being the SCW Champion at the time, why wouldn't I want to achieve even more greatness? Hell, that's why I came back into this business.

I sat on the f_cking shelf for FOUR YEARS because I thought my time in this business was over. I decided I was WASHED UP and couldn't compete anymore because I couldn't get a job anywhere.

Then I decided I wasn't.

I decided I wasn't ready to be done in this business.

I knew the talent pool out there had gotten better, but I knew I could still compete. I knew I could still stand toe-to-toe, and more importantly, WIN! I knew I had more to achieve in this business, and I'll be damned if I wasn't going to do everything I could to achieve EVERYTHING I could.

That's why, when the 2 for 1 Special rolled around, the IWC suddenly had some sense of "mattering" to me. It went from the "other fed," which I considered a repository for those who realized they'd never achieve success over me, to ANOTHER organization I could be successful in. Hell... Before the 2 for 1 Special, it was widely seen as the "superior" organization. Now... Thanks to me, the land of SCW is, once again, the land of the SUPREME!

Now... Don't ask my opponent that!

If you ask him the story is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

If you ask him, his response is a mix of the Chewbacca Defense and the "Extra Ting" from Ice Ice Baby, mixed with President Bush's explanation of what "Mission Accomplished" means.

To him, the only reason SCW isn't superior, is because they don't have him spewing off how much he loves them at this very moment. If tomorrow he was given a shot to represent SCW against someone from the Cartel, GUESS WHAT, his tone would be much different.

That's how hypocritical he is!

Ultimately this stems from the fact that SCW didn't ask him to be a representative for them. He wasn't given opportunities to allow himself to become the "SCW Guy," so he went where he was wanted. Now he's an IWC guy. Now he talks about how he wants to "send me back to SCW, where I belong," and yet, at the last SCW pay-per view, he was there trying to win the SCW Championship.

And you know what? There's a reason for that! There's a reason my opponent hasn't achieved any success in SCW, and it's because after the year 2008 ended, so did his ability to actually be someone perceived as legitimate.

Now-a-days, nobody looks at my opponent and takes him seriously!

How could you?

Really... How could you?

Seriously look at him... Seriously listen to him... Seriously watch him... It's like every time he opens his mouth, he has to pull up a page of Google Images to, hopefully, give us a better "picture" of what he's trying to convey, instead of simply saying it, or doing it!

Who would take that kind of guy seriously?!

Hell, it's the same thing every newscast does, and hardly anyone takes those people seriously anymore.

I think what happened... At the end of 2008, my opponent merely turned into a talking head.

Regardless, he is coming into Paranoia, well, paranoid. He's tried to turn it around on me, and use, what the psychological world refers to as "displacement," in order to try and make others think I'm the one who is paranoid, but everyone sees right through it. His mediocre arguments, his attempts to try and be "superior," verbally to me, everything has just fallen quite short.

He has attempted to try and be a "higher authority" on life than me by this whole Excalibur routine he has going on, and unless he's merely a big fan of Disney movies, and going to treat us to his rendition to the Sword and the Stone, nobody is going to care!

Granted, nobody would if he was simply doing a one-man show of it either... But never mind...

My opponent is a guy who is stepping into a match where he THINKS he has an edge, but in the end, has none. He wants to question my fan base? He wants to use that as a reason for his edge? Does he think that because it's an IWC event, NONE of my fans will be there? Does he think that since it's an IWC event, NONE of my fans will tune in? Does he think that since it's an IWC event, NONE of my fans will seek me out before the match and wish me good luck?

If he does, he's a dumb box of sh!t!

That is a ludicrous thought, an inane thought, and a bogus thought! It's the thought of someone who is desperate to try and convince people he has that role as the "favorite," when deep down he knows he's grasping at straws.

Personally, I don't know how many more straws he has to grasp at before he breaks down into a childish whimper, but I can't imagine too many more are left.

The guy just needs to face the facts that are out there, OK?

He's the former IWC Champion, who lost the title to Jake Starr.

He's getting his rematch for it, which he is deserving of.

He's not someone who'll ever be viewed by the masses as "the guy," and will also never been viewed as, as superior to Jake Starr.

And lastly... His time to have ANY INKLING of claim to the IWC Championship ends on Sunday. Because when I pin him for the proverbial three-count, and I raise the IWC Championship above my head AGAIN (this time without having it taken away by some jealous brother), he'll wake up realizing all of his hype he put on himself was not paid attention to by anyone, and the time he has left to be seen as "relevant," is ticking away, and at Paranoia, will finally strike ZERO!


Back to Role Play Archive | Home