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It has been several months since anyone had seen or heard from "The Impact Player" Jake Starr. His whereabouts had been unknown. The only people who knew his location was his two brothers, Bane and Kold Killa. The three remain the foundation of the group, simply known as, "The Social Misfits". The offers poured in to Jake, through his brothers, for him to come and join different federations. His intentions were to simply enjoy his life with his brothers and family, and if the right offer came in, he'd consider taking it. When his younger brother, Kold Killa, came to him and told him that he was in a World Title Match for the IFW, Jake knew he had to come and watch his brother. He had secretly gotten in contact with the owner of the IFW, about a possible return to the ring. They talked about, if Kold Killa were to somehow lose, Jake could come in and try to avenge the loss. He came and sat ringside and watched as Acid, along with Crimson Beast, teamed up to defeat Kold Killa. From there, Acid proceeded to rub the loss in the face of Kold Killa's older brother. This, in turn, infuriated Jake and he stormed the ring. After Jake attacked Acid, he openly stated that he was BACK in the world of wrestling! He also stated that this month, at the IFW pay-per view, "Freedom for Fierce Vengeance", he would be challenging Acid, for Acid's newly won, World Heavyweight Championship. This announcement shocked the wrestling world, as they would finally see the return of a legend to the squared-circle. Will his return be in glory? Or will his return be shot down by the newly-crowned, World Champion?

The camera fades in from black, on a scene that has long been just a memory for fans of "The Social Misfits" and Jake Starr. It is a scene that reflects the unity these three brothers have with each other. The three brothers are first seen sitting around a television watching the replay of the previous IFW pay-per view. Kold Killa shows his disgust when he is attacked by Crimson Beast. Bane, the eldest of the three, rises and gets his youngest brother a drink from his home bar area. Bane hopes that a little alcohol might calm the nerves of Kold Killa. Amidst all of this racquet, Jake Starr remains focused on the television. His focus is totally on studying his opponent, whom he'll face February 26 for the World Heavyweight Championship. Jake tilts his head to both sides, both of which produce a cracking noise. Kold Killa cringes at the sound.

Kold Killa: Good lord bro! You know I hate when you do that!

Even when he is addressed by Kold Killa, his eyes never move from the television. As Acid is seen delivering the Overdose to Kold Killa, and the referee counts the three count, Jake watches Acid begin to taunt him. As Jake watches himself storm the ring and attack Acid, a smirk graces his face. Upon the conclusion of the match, Jake switches off the television and looks at Kold Killa...

Jake Starr: I'm sorry did you say something?

Kold Killa: NO! I never say anything do I?!

Jake Starr: Bane... What's his deal?

Bane: I think he's just pissed off still...

Jake Starr: I figured...

Kold Killa: Dude I got screwed over! I could have brought a World Title home to our family! But that jackass Crimson Beast decided to stick his nose in our business.

Jake Starr: Yeah... And you're going to bring the Red Mode Ironman Championship home to the family once you get your hands on him...

Kold Killa: I would be the World Champion if it weren't for his ass!

Bane decides to interject a smartass comment...

Bane: I coulda been a contenda!

Jake starts laughing out loud. The comment does not fly over well with Kold Killa.

Kold Killa: F_cker it's not funny!

Jake Starr: Dude... Do you not realize how much energy you're wasting by just bitching about your loss? I'm going to take care of Acid... You can take care of Crimson Beast... And we'll both have championships.

Kold Killa: I know... But...

Bane: Dude... Don't dwell on this one match. Acid got the belt... You didn't... Jake's going to take care of him for basically pissing on our family... And you can get revenge on the guy who cost you the match.

Jake Starr: I swear I just said the same thing!

Bane: Well you did... But sometimes hearing it again, in a slightly different way, may stick better.

Jake Starr: Well... Why don't we ask our little bundle of hot air... Do you feel any different?

Kold Killa: F_ck you!

Jake Starr: Is that a yes?

Kold Killa: Yeah I get what you're saying... I'm just upset that, for once, I couldn't bring home the biggest prize in the industry.

Jake Starr: Dude... You'll get your day! You've at least held gold more recently than me anyway... And also think about this bro...

Kold Killa: What?!

Jake Starr: If we both bring home gold... It won't matter who has what! The family will once again be on top of the wrestling world!

Bane: ... I swear...

Jake Starr: I curse... What's your point?

Bane: Smartass...

Jake Starr: I try!

Bane: Anyway... I swear, when you say "the family" it makes us sound like the old Italian mob...

Jake decides to do a really bad Marlon Brando impression...

Jake Starr: You know... There will come a time when I call upon you to do me a fava...

Kold Killa decides to jump into the comedic portion of the conversation.

Kold Killa: Hey who made you the "Godfather"?

Jake Starr: I did!

Bane: I'm the oldest here... I should be the "Godfather".

Jake Starr: Man we're a trio!

Kold Killa: That's usually what you call three of something...

Bane: Oh damn! Killa got in on the smartassed comments!

Jake Starr: That's impressive! You're learning young one!

Kold Killa: Oh shove it bro!

Jake Starr: You know we love ya!

Bane: And we could still kick your ass!

Jake Starr: The brotherly war continues!

Bane: My question is... Did it ever stop?

Jake Starr: Ha no! It's been going on for years!

Jake quickly jumps up, showing something has struck his attention.

Jake Starr: Holy sh!t dude!

Bane: What?

Kold Killa: What? What dude?

Jake Starr: I almost totally forgot!!!

Kold Killa: Ok... What?!?!

Bane: Yeah bro... What's the deal?

Jake Starr: I have played producer again!

Kold Killa: Oh sh!t!

Bane: You didn't...

Kold Killa: Yes... Please say you didn't...

Jake Starr: Oh... I did!

Kold Killa: Jake, you know this has gotten us banned from federations before!

Jake Starr: Since when did I care?!

Bane: Killa... He does have a point there!

Kold Killa: I'm afraid your right!

Jake Starr: So... Who's ready for another "Starr-licious" production?

Kold Killa: "Starr-licious"?!

Bane: Yeah bro... Where in the hell did that come from?

Kold Killa: Sounds fruity to me!

Bane: Yeah... Bro you didn't go homo on us did you?

Jake Starr: F_ck both of y'all!

Kold Killa: Ha ha! For once we got to team on you!

Jake Starr: Better than teaming on each other! OUCH I got you both back!

Bane: Sadly... Yeah you did!

Jake Starr: Anyway... You guys want to see my latest production?

Kold Killa: Will it get you and I banned from the IWF too?

Jake Starr: Oh probably!

Bane: Hey Killa... At least he's honest!

Kold Killa: Oh lord... And do I really have a choice?

Jake Starr: No... Not really!

Kold Killa: Goody! Here we go!

Jake stands and walks back towards the front door of the location. Jake grabs his bag that he brought with him, and begins to search through its contents. He starts pulling clothes out, throwing things around, obviously searching for this "production" that he mentioned to his brothers. As his two brothers look on, their respective looks show that whatever this "production" might be, it is something that causes them a little bit of uneasiness. Suddenly, Jake exclaims he has found it. From within the bag he pulls, what looks to be, a DVD. He walks back over to his brothers flashing the DVD towards them!

Bane: Oh my God look... He's upgraded!

Kold Killa: DVD instead of VHS this time... I'm impressed!

Jake Starr: Yeah... I figured since this is the 21st century, I might as well move into the technological era.

Kold Killa: Well hopefully the quality is better than the VHS!

Jake Starr: Oh trust me... It's much more... Umm... Improved!

Bane: Now that frightens me!

Kold Killa: Improved... How?

Jake Starr: Oh... Only in the fact that I put a little more effort into the "graphical nature" of the content!

Bane: Oh sh!t!

Kold Killa: This one is worse?!

Jake Starr: Watch and see bro... Watch and see!

Jake walks over to Bane's DVD player and opens the drawer. He slides the DVD into place and pushes the DVD into the player. The camera, rather than being behind the three brothers, begins to zoom in on the television. The feed from the television engulfs the screen, and the screen goes black. The following slowly begins to fade in from the black background:

[u]Homos Are Humans Too Episode Three:[/u] [i]"I Saw, I Came, I Blinded Myself!"[/i]

With that title displayed, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham plays as a live audience, all obviously of the homosexual orientation, cheering. The audience begins to fade in. As the finishes scanning the audience, the camera begins to pan around to show a bright, pink, very flamboyant, talk show set. Three pink feathered chairs sit in the middle of the set. The announcer, Philip McKnuts, begins to make the opening announcement to begin the show. He speaks in a very high-pitched voice.

Philip McKnuts: Ladies and gentlemen, bitches and butches, spikes and dykes, peers and queers... Welcome to...

The crowd yells in unison, but sounds like a group of total women...


Philip McKnuts: That's right! Homos Are Humans Too is brought to you live from studio G-A-Y and is sponsored by K-Y... The light lube in the light tube! And now your host, and my personal butt-savage, DICKIN DIAZ!!

A man, shockingly resembling Boy George, comes prancing onto the stage. He is extremely flamboyant and bows to the crowd. He runs up to some of the men and women in the audience and hugs them, and even gives some a kiss. He steps back on stage, takes a deep breath, and acts as if he's wiping a tear. He is handed a microphone, molded like a male penis, and begins his show, also in a very gay male voice.

Dickin Diaz: Hello everybody!!!!

Crowd: Hello Dickin!

Dickin Diaz: I am so happy everyone came today... Well I don't know if everyone came... But we can all hope right tee he he!

The crowd laughs at the really bad sexual joke.

Dickin Diaz: Now I know it has been a while since we got to do one of these very colorful shows... Are we all excited to be back?!

Crowd: Cheers

Dickin Diaz: That's what I thought!!! Oh my God... You would not believe the night I had last night...

Crowd: How big was he?!

Dickin Diaz: Well I'll tell you... He was SO BIG... That it felt like I was on all fours receiving a brain massage!

Crowd: Gasps

Dickin Diaz: Yep! And I'm not kidding either! I could have sworn he was black... But once he came all I could see was white! But enough about me! You would not believe the show that we have lined up for you guys today! You know I am a big wrestling fan, and I'm not talking about bedroom wrestling...

Crowd: Ha ha ha!

Dickin Diaz: From the IFW, we have none other than the World Heavyweight Champion... ASSID! Isn't it so wonderful that his name has the word ASS in it?! And let me tell you... What a tight little ass it is!

Crowd: OOOHHH!

Dickin Diaz: But a good-gay doesn't suck and tell! Also... We have a good "friend" of his, who I was told is not named "Crimson Beast"... It's actually Cumson Breast! He asked that we refer to him by his "real name"... So I am definitely one to oblige my guests!

Crowd: Woo hoo!

Dickin Diaz: So... Without any further adieux... It is my pleasure to bring out my guests! Straight from Impact Franchise Wrestling... Here is Cumson Breast and Assid!

Two actors dressed up much like the two IFW superstars come prancing out. The Acid look-alike is wearing a make shift World Heavyweight title, torn daisy duke shorts that barely pass his manhood, and a mid-drift t-shirt exposing his very corpulent belly. The Crimson Beast look alike is wearing a pink boa, no t-shirt, and a pair of spandex shorts. The only problem with him is the fact that the spandex shorts are not accenting any of his "features". The two sit down and the show continues...

Dickin Diaz: Hello my sweet cummerbunds!

Assid: Hello my candy apple tits!

Dickin Diaz: And how are you my little Vienna sausage?

Cumson Breast: Pretty good my mouthful of fun!



Dickin Diaz: How are you guys today?

Assid: I'm orgasmic!

Cumson Breast: My ass hurts!

Dickin Diaz: Oh do tell!

Cumson Breast: Well... I had my Kold Killa sized dildo in the back, and Assid here was ramming it so deep inside of me that I could taste my own sh!t!

Dickin Diaz: MMM! Sounds yummy!

Assid: Oh you wouldn't believe the noises and sounds this little trooper can make!

Dickin Diaz: Oh my! Well I do know what sounds you make, my little anal pumper!

Assid: You know it baby!

Dickin Diaz actually decides it is time to talk about the matches that the two "superstars" have this month.

Dickin Diaz: So my two big dick bangers... I want to talk wrestling with you!

Assid: Oh you know there won't be much talking... Just moaning and groaning!

Dickin Diaz: Oh you silly goose! I means about professional wrestling!

Assid: Oh that...

Dickin Diaz: You both have BIG little contests this month!

Assid: That we do my testicle!

Cumson Breast: And I can't wait to pin Kold Killa... And I'm not talking about in the ring!

Dickin Diaz: Shut up! You know he isn't like us... He hasn't seen the light yet!

Cumson Breast: Oh I'll show him the light!

Assid: You'll show him something alright! And it'll definitely be light!

Cumson Breast: You b!tch! That's not what you were saying last night...

Dickin Diaz: Now my little cumfarts... We don't need any of that "straight" masculinity on this set! We're all lovers here... You can be fighters in that little ringy thing of yours...

Assid: I'm sorry my Dickey Doo!

Cumson Breast: Me too puddin' pop!

Dickin Diaz: And don't you worry... They're will be plenty of puddin' on my pop for you!

Cumson Breast: You had better not be lying to me!

Assid: Oh baby he's not! That man has a load that even made me gag! And you know I have little, if any, gag reflex!

Seeing the, once again, sexual turn of the conversation, Dickin steers the topic back to the matches in the IFW.

Dickin Diaz: Now boys... We know Cumson is hoping for some sweet lovings prior and after his match, and maybe even with Kold Killa if he's lucky...

Crowd: Cheers

Dickin Diaz: But what about you my little swizzle stick... Are you afraid of that big, bad, Jake Starr?

Assid: Oh my God Dickin... You would not believe what I heard about him!

Dickin Diaz: Oh baby do tell!

Assid: I hear that guy is hung like a mule!

Dickin Diaz: Oh baby! Where did you hear this?!?!

Assid: Well I kind of drilled a glory hole into the men’s restroom one night when I was in drag, and I must say I looked so hot... Anyway he went in there, and I ran into the girl’s room, since I looked better than half of those stupid hoes there, and looked in... I swear I almost poked out an eye from across the room!

Dickin Diaz: Oh you poor thing!

Assid: POOR THING?! That man had me gaggin' from across the room... And I wasn't even sucking his cock!

Dickin Diaz: Oh sweet Jesus!

Assid: Oh you're telling me! I can't wait to get that tripod on the mat. Then maybe I can make my move!


Assid: You had better believe it baby doll!

Dickin Diaz: Oh I'm so jealous... I'm feeling hot! Somebody fan me!

One of the stagehands, dressed like "Mango" (a character on Saturday Night Life played by Chris Kattan), runs in from stage right and dabs Dickin Diaz's brow. As he finishes, he bends over in front of Dickin, and receives a spanking on the rear and praise. He the runs back off the stage, via stage left!

Dickin Diaz: Ok much better! Now my sweet Ass...

Assid: Yes my sweet dick?

Dickin Diaz: Do you worry about losing that little belt thing??

Assid: Oh I don't know! I think I'm more worried about seeing Jakey's manhood than fighting!

Dickin Diaz: Oh I don't blame you! But what about when he tries to put his dirty, beefy, strong, man-hands on you?

Assid: Oh Dickin! You should know the answer to that! I'm just going to get on all fours and take it like a man!

Dickin Diaz: That is my boy!

Assid: MAN!

Dickin Diaz: WOMAN!

Cumson Breast: B!TCH!

Assid: Thank you Cumson!

Cumson Breast: You're welcome my penile pumper!

Dickin Diaz begins jumping up and down, showing he's just got a bright idea!

Dickin Diaz: Oh oh! My sweets... I had a wonderful thought!

Cumson Breast: What's that?

Assid: Tell me sweet cheeks!

Dickin Diaz: I just got a new toy backstage called the "Cream Extractor"! It tickles your gooch while pulsating deep inside your anus!

Assid: Oh my God! I've seen that advertised!

Cumson Breast: Yes and it still gives the option for constant oral as well!

Assid: You're damn right Cumson!

Dickin Diaz: I say we all go backstage and test that big daddy out!

Random members of the crowd shout, begging for invitations.

Dickin Diaz: No I'm sorry guys... This is a special three-way party!

Crowd: Awwwwww!

Dickin Diaz: Well folks... I hope you all had a rainbow-tastic day! I know I will! See you next time on...


Philip McKnuts: Fans I hope you had a gay-a-rific time here! For Dickin Diaz, I'm Philip McKnuts saying... When "times" are hard, sit down and enjoy the ride!

The scene slowly fades to black. The camera zooms out from the television to the three brothers on the floor laughing hysterically. Jake pulls himself back up into his chair, and the other two follow suit. Their conversation begins to take a turn discussing the video they just watched.


Kold Killa: You are so forgiven my brother!

Bane: That had to be some of the funniest sh!t I have ever seen!

Kold Killa: I have to agree!

Jake Starr: I told you guys! I worked hard on this one...

Kold Killa: By the sound of it, Assid and Cumson worked "hard" too!

Jake Starr: Oh God! TMI bro!! TMI!

Bane: I'm with Jake man... I feel like I should go f_ck a girl just to show my heterosexuality!

Jake Starr: Yeah... That was what I was thinking after that thing ended!

Kold Killa: This was vile bro... Just vile!

Jake Starr: Thank you! Hopefully Assid and Cumson will realize how faggoty they look once they see this!

As Jake directly mentions his opponents, his older brother Bane inquires to his thoughts of his opponent, the World Heavyweight Champion, Acid.

Bane: Speaking of those two... Jake do you know what you're going to have to do to beat Acid?

Jake Starr: Hmm... What will it take? It'll take me just showing up!

Bane: Just making sure you knew that's all it would take!

Jake Starr: This guy is pathetic... I mean he made it clear he couldn't beat Killa on his own... What makes him think I'm a cake walk?

Kold Killa: Oh he probably thinks that he has all of the momentum going into this match...

Jake Starr: All I have to say is, who was the last one standing in the ring at the end of the pay per view?

Kold Killa: Don't rub it in...

Jake Starr: I'm talking about me pecker head!

Kold Killa: Oh...

Jake Starr: Man... Just focus on your match against a guy who fantasizes about your mule buried deep in his ass!

Kold Killa: Oh God please don't remind me!

Jake Starr: Just keep that in the back of your mind... It'll help you make sure you win!

Bane: Well the same goes for you!

Jake Starr: What in the hell are you talking about?

Bane: Keep yourself focused... You have the main event match bro! You're the one getting the chance to do the one thing you've been craving for so long. You've been given a match for the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP...

Starting to get frustrated at his brother, Jake replies...

Jake Starr: You don't think I'm aware of that?!

Bane: I think you are... But I also think you need to make sure you're 100% focused on him. Killa can handle himself. We're all big boys now! I don't have to look after you... And you don't have to look after Killa!

Jake Starr: I gotcha...

Bane: Bro... Killa and I have been lobbying for you to get this shot in every fed we've been in... When all along it just required you speaking up!

Kold Killa: He's right man... This is now your shot... It's your time to shine!

Jake Starr: Talk about an instant changing of heart...

Kold Killa: Do what?!

Jake Starr: Well... About 20 minutes ago, you were all going insane because you were screwed over by Crimson Beast... Now you're saying it's my time?

Kold Killa: Well it is bro... No bones about it! I'm bitter, yes! But Bane is right... We both have our respective matches to worry about. And once I win mine, then I can turn my focus to yours.

Jake Starr: I gotcha...

Bane looks at his watch and becomes startled at the time...

Bane: Oh sh!t bro!

Jake Starr: What?

Bane: I reserved the gym for us... We have an empty gym just for our training!

Jake Starr: Sweet!

Kold Killa: Hey... You are good for something!

Jake Starr: OH DAMN! Bane... He got you that time...

Bane: No joke... I'll get even later...

Jake Starr: Uh oh!

Kold Killa: Damnit! Why can't I just get a good comment in and leave it at that?

Bane: Because...

Jake Starr: You're the youngest... We have to pick on you some!

Kold Killa: F_ck you both!

Jake Starr: Ha ha!

Bane: C'mon guys... I'll get the car...

Jake Starr: It'll be like Driving Miss Daisy!

Bane: Screw you Starr!

Jake Starr: I love you too bro!

Bane: I bet!

The camera begins to zoom back as the trio walks out the front door. The camera then follows them outside, where they're seen getting into Bane's car. The car is watched as it drives off from the scene, and the camera slowly fades to black. As the scene slowly fades back in, an obvious time lapse has occurred. How is that known? The scene fades in inside an empty gym, with the exception of the three brothers of the "Social Misfits". Jake is in the ring with some local wrestler. Bane is in Jake's corner cheering him on as he dominates his opponent. Jake is seen lifting his opponent onto his shoulders, in a fireman's carry position, spinning him around into an RKO like neck breaker. From there, Jake is seen climbing to the top turnbuckle, throwing his body into a shooting star frog splash combination, which he refers to as the "Falling Starr". As Jake lands across his opponent’s torso, Bane rolls in and makes the count, 1, 2, and 3. The opponent, obviously in pain, rolls out of the ring. Killa tends to him as Bane sets up a small stool in the corner of the ring and begins to chat with him.

Bane: You looked sluggish...

Breathing heavily and slugging water, Jake responds...

Jake Starr: Well so... You look sluggish every day of the week.

Bane: Good to hear your sarcasm hasn't been worn out.

Jake Starr: Never!

Bane: Nah... Honestly you surprised me! I didn't expect you to be able to pull some of those moves off...

Jake Starr: What do you mean?

Bane: I figured the ring-rust would take a little time to wear off. I was proven wrong!

Jake Starr: Yes... Yes you were!

Bane: But you do know that Acid will be more of a challenge than that guy?

Jake Starr: Oh I figured he might have a little more talent... But not much!

Bane: Don't get over confidant...

Jake Starr: You know me... The cocky, overconfident, style is my way of thinking!

Bane: Yes... I know! Sometimes I wonder how you succeed as much as you do...

Jake Starr: I'm just that damn good!

Bane: Whatever you say bro!

Kold Killa finishes helping the independent wrestling who was helping Jake train, and returns to the side of the ring with his two elder brothers.

Kold Killa: I was over there lifting weights, and at the same time watching you... Where's this ring rust we were trying to work off?

Jake Starr: Good question... Damn that felt good!

Bane: What did?

Jake Starr: Getting back in the ring bro... I'm ready...

Bane: You sure?

Jake Starr: DAMN SURE!

Kold Killa: Does that mean...

Bane: It's time?

Jake Starr: You had BETTER believe that it's time!

Hearing those words, the camera that has been filming this whole scene begins to shift itself. It slowly moves to directly in front of the challenger in this month's pay-per view, Jake Starr. As the camera moves, a garbled conversation between the brothers continues. Once the camera has positioned itself in front of the challenger, Jake's attention switches from his brothers, to the camera. The camera slowly zooms in on Jake Starr, and he begins to lash out at his opponent for "Freedom for Fierce Vengeance", Acid.

Jake Starr: "Freedom for Fierce Vengeance" marks a turning point in the lives of everyone who has any association to Impact Franchise Wrestling. Last month, at Everlasting Soul, history was made as Acid was victorious in his World Heavyweight Title match against my brother, Kold Killa...

Kold Killa comments...

Kold Killa: Don't remind me...

Bane: Shh!

Jake Starr: Anyway... Acid made history by becoming the first World Heavyweight Champion in the NEW Impact Franchise Wrestling history books. But it was not done alone... It was done with the help of Crimson Beast. Crimson Beast is a man whom my brother will take care of on the same night that I meet you Acid. Two men, it took, to take down my brother. Two men, it took, to ruin his chances of writing history himself. But come Sunday, February 26, 2005, Acid you won't have that kind of insurance policy against me. You see... My brother and I, although alike in DNA, are very different when it comes to wrestling styles. My brother is very successful brawler. He likes to pummel his opponents using brute force. Myself... I don't possess the brute force he does. Now... Don't think that me being not as "brutal" as my brother gives you an edge. I'm a lot more strategic. This is something that will provide me with a SERIOUS edge against you. You won't know which way I'll be attacking from. Ground... Air... Front... Back... Anything is a possibility! So you'll wish God blessed you with about six eyes!

Bane hands Jake a water bottle, and Jake takes a slug of water. He hands the bottle back to Bane, returns his focus to the camera, and continues.

Jake Starr: Acid... You are on top of the world right now. Lush hotels, first-class seating, complimentary everything! All I can say to you is this... Enjoy it while it lasts. Your success will last all of ONE MONTH. February 26th is your day of reckoning. It is the day in which all of your glitz and glamour will cease to exist anymore. You ruined your own life when you decided to not take my brother on in a clean match. When you elected to screw over a member of my blood, you crossed the line. If you think you'll be able to do the same to me, you're wrong again! I have already secured an insurance policy to make sure you fight me one on one! But should you somehow succeed at getting some reject of yours to ringside, I'd be happy to do the same thing to them, as I WILL be doing to you. You see... You've never encountered someone like me... You've only encountered your stereotypical wrestlers in the ring. I, however, am very a-stereotypical. I am a wrestler who takes normal conventions and turns them upside down. Up becomes down... Black becomes white... That is how I am as successful as I am.

Killa looks over at Bane and comments...

Kold Killa: You know Bane... I think this is the first time I've heard Jake not smack-talk his opponent.

Bane: I was thinking the same thing!

Jake looks up at his two brothers...

Jake Starr: Oh you guys don't like the "serious" approach?

Bane: Well... It's just so "a-typical" of you...

Kold Killa: Hey that kind of sounds like what he said in his comments earlier...

Bane smacks Kold Killa upside his head.

Kold Killa: OW! F_CKER!

Bane: C'mon bro... Give him a piece of JAKE STARR's mind... Not part of this BS you're dishing out right now...

Jake Starr: Think I should Killa?

Killa continues to rub the back of his head from where Bane had hit him.

Kold Killa: Only if it'll hurt less than his stupid smacks!

Jake Starr: I promise it won't hurt like that!

Kold Killa: Then do it!

Again, Jake refocuses his attention on the camera. He, again, begins to dish out comments towards his opponent, Acid.

Jake Starr: Ok enough of this "typical wrestling talk" nonsense... It's time for Jake Starr to be Jake Starr. Acid... You did something I never expected to see. You beat my brother... But you will not be beating my ass in any sense of the word. I know you have the hots for me... If I were gay, I probably would too... But you're not going to be beating me in the ring, nor in the back either. You'll have to settle for your little ass goblin, Cumson Breast. Yeah you remember him... The other queer from the video! Although tell me Asshole... I mean Assid I'm sorry... Who would be the b!tch, and who would be the butch in that relationship? I mean... C'mon you both are pretty flaming. Would it be like a double male, lesbian relationship? No can't be that... There's usually a b!tch and a butch in those too. And you both are too ugly to be lipstick lesbians... You both remind me of two of the "Fab 5" guys. Hell all five of those guys are raging anal monkeys, and you two fit into that category! Next thing you know, Assid will be walking to ringside in a pink ascot and carrying his little chihuahua named "Bruiser".

Going along with the "Legally Blonde" reference, Kold Killa jumps in on the commenting...

Kold Killa: Snaps for Assid!


Jake Starr: HA HA HA! I have to say Killa... That was actually pretty damned funny!

Bane: Yeah... That was a good one bro!

Kold Killa: Thank you! Thank you!

Jake Starr: And Assid... Have you been decorating your World Heavyweight Championship belt yet? Does it have little gems and sequences on it? Have you covered it in lace? Have you put your big penis Mardi Gras beads on it? I sure as hell hope not! I don't want some spludge-laden belt to be coming my way at the pay-per view. I want one that is nice and clean! You hear me? CLEAN! So if you've fagotized the belt... Make sure it looks brand new before you bring it to the ring.

Bane: That it?

Jake Starr: I'm thinking...

Jake continues to ponder. Suddenly his facial expression shows that he has thought of something.

Jake Starr: Assid... I have to know... What's up with that long stem of pubic hair you have protruding from your chin? Is that like where your extra spludge goes that misses your mouth? Is it your special "flavor saver"? Or is it some poor attempt to look masculine? If that is what you're hoping for, man you are failing with a capital "F"! OH WAIT! I've figured it out... It's like your version of an erotic feather that tickles your partner's nut sack while your blowing him right? Give him a little tickle on his bag down there huh? You know... I bet you and Cumson Breast used to play a little game called "MONSTER RAIN" when you were a child didn't you Assid?

Confused, Bane interjects.

Bane: "Monster Rain"? What the f_ck is "Monster Rain"?!

Jake Starr: It's a little game that my old friend Jim Norton used to play. Go research it online bro... You'll find it!

Bane: I'm afraid!

Jake Starr: Well you'll understand how it applies to him once you read it!

Bane: Ok!

Jake continues on...

Jake Starr: Be prepared for an ass-whooping that you've never encountered before Assid. Because on February 26th, that piece of gold you stole from my brother, will be gracing my waist. There is no ifs, ands, or buts. It WILL happen. You won't be able to stop it! You won't be able to change it! It is guaranteed. It is as if God has written it in stone for we as his servants to read. So be ready... Because my goal is to embarrass you, and make you look like the b!tch ass, homosexual, cock-sucking, spludge-chugging, farce that you are! And that, my friends, is that!

Jake concludes his promo for the pay-per view with those parting words. As he finishes his comments, the murmur of the three brothers conversing is heard as the camera slowly begins to back away. Kold Killa returns to the weights, Jake returns to his sparing in the ring, and Bane returns to the corner to coach on his brother. As the camera continues to back away, and slowly fade to black, many people must begin to wonder about how Acid could possibly respond to such heated words. How will he be able to verbally counter what was just dished out? Other will wonder if this will cause him to worry in any way, shape, or form. Jake Starr has initiated the mind games by lashing out first at his opponent. Now it lies on Acid's shoulders to come back with something as potent, and something as powerful. Could we have just seen the face of the newest World Heavyweight Champion in the IFW? At "Freedom for Fierce Vengeance", that question, along with many more, will be answered.

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