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Since Jake Starr's last promo, the ACW has been in a heated debate over the content of it. Many believe that the promo was completely in jest, and amusing to watch. While a SELECT FEW found it to be offensive. Since the outcry from those SELECT FEW, Jake has been in a heated struggle with Michael Wayne, one of those SELECT FEW, over the validity, and necessity of it. Jake contends that it is all part of the character and his image. Michael Wayne contests that it crosses the "politically correct" boundaries, and has proceeded to issue an official "warning" to Jake Starr. He also instructed Jake to issue a formal apology on the matter. Jake's overall attitude in the matter has been quite vengeful. He has not felt any remorse, but believes it is his job to set the record straight.

A very well-lit conference room is shown, somewhere in the United States. Reporters from all over the region have frantically been packing into to this room where a press conference is going to be held. The speaker... ACW's own "Impact Player" himself, Jake Starr. As the reporters finally all pack into this room, an unfamiliar face to ACW approaches the podium. The man is identified as legendary wrestler, Hall of Famer, and close, personal, friend of Jake Starr, "Pr0t0typ3" Shawn Wright. Shawn quickly approaches the podium and begins to speak to the audience of reporters.

Shawn Wright: I appreciate you all coming on such short notice. Jake Starr requested this press conference just a few hours ago. I know following his last promo, which virtually everyone noticeably enjoyed, there was a bit of an outcry from those damned "suits" here at American Championship Wrestling. Being a close friend of Jake's, I advised him to meet with the press to address this issue. I know many of you will have questions. So what we'll do is this... Jake will come out here and make his opening statement. From there, you'll be allowed to ask any questions which you deem appropriate. I do ask that if Jake decides not to answer your question, you not over peruse. He is doing this because he feels it is necessary due to the backlash from a FEW people. I will warn you... The unintelligent, unnecessary, illiterate, pointless, and child-like outcries, from those retards in ACW who wet their Pampers because it was mean, have caused Jake to really be in an unpredictable mood. So... If you have a possibly "controversial" question... Know that Jake may not respond like you'd like.

One reporter stands up and awaits acknowledgement from wrestling legend, "Pr0t0typ3" Shawn Wright.

Shawn Wright: Yes sir?

Reporter 1: "Pr0t0typ3"...

Shawn Wright: Please... Call me Shawn Wright...

Reporter 1: Sorry sir... Mr. Wright do you know what Jake may be speaking about during his opening statement?

Shawn Wright: Honestly... No! And to be honest with you I have my serious doubts if even Jake himself knows what he's going to open with.

Reporter 1: So we're flying blind here?

Shawn Wright: I hate to say it... But we all are. Like I said Jake just had this premonition just a few hours ago. So who knows... All I know is... Expect him to say anything!

Reporter 1: Is there anything we should avoid talking about?

Shawn Wright: Honestly... There are probably some touchy issues... But I'm completely uncertain of them.

Reporter 1: Ok thank you sir!

Shawn Wright: You're welcome... So is everyone as prepared as they're going to be?

The crowd of reporters responds with a variety of responses, but they all point to yes.

Shawn Wright: Then without any further delays or waiting... Here he is... The man who has single-handedly caused more turmoil in ACW than anyone preceding him, the man who will single-handedly be remembered as the man who brought ACW back onto its feet, and who is escorted by his older brother Bane, Jake Starr!

From behind the curtain steps Jake Starr and his older brother Bane. The newspaper and web-based reporters begin taking flash photographs for their respective media mediums. The television reporters begin rolling tape, and zooming in on the brothers. Jake carries, in one hand, a piece of paper with, what is assumed to be, a prepared statement written on it. He waves at a couple of the reporters, trying to establish good rapport if he doesn't already have it, and approaches the podium. He motions for the reporters to quiet down so that he may read his prepared statement aloud. As the reporters slowly simmer their roar down to a mere mutter, Jake begins to read his statement which has been prepared ahead of time.

Jake Starr: First off I'd like to read this statement in which I have prepared. Then I will take a few of your questions, one at a time.

The reporters all begin to hush and listen closely as Jake begins.

Jake Starr: Recently, I cut a promo related to my match this Monday on Mayhem. It included various homosexual comments, as well as a mock-talk show that I scripted. Upon airing that promo live on television, I awaited the response from my fellow ACW superstars, as well as the general public. I expected some people to possibly find it insulting, as well as derogatory in nature. The intent behind it was to reach under the skin of my opponents, and throw off their groove, in order to gain an edge going into Monday's contest. I had hoped that it would throw off the groove, which they displayed they were firmly in, and provide me with a way to gain a mental advantage. I had also expected, upon airing this promo, that there would be a tremendous number of people who found it amusing. Runexten quickly informed the ACW offices that he found it offensive, and I should be reprimanded for it. The ACW offices instructed me to issue a formal apology regarding this matter. They informed me that if I did not comply, I could face further disciplinary actions. To comply with the ACW recommendations and requests, is why I have called this press conference. In response to the outcry from Rob Hardy, Runexten, and Michael Wayne, I issue this statement... F_CK YOU ALL!

The crowd of reporters, anticipating an apology, gasps at the quick change in direction of Jake Starr's comments. They frantically try and regroup in order to prepare for what could be said next.

Jake Starr: Those three piece of monkey's cum are not worth a damned apology. Why? Because those three are incapable of taking a damn joke. Ha ha... Funny funny! It's a joke dip sh!ts. Do you not realize that? I did what I did to illicit a reaction JUST LIKE THAT! I wanted you to feel like you had been violated beyond all possible recognition. And by Runexten running like a third grader to a principal, right after being kicked off a swing set, and tattle telling... I realize I had succeeded. A big thank you to you Runexten. You have officially allowed me to succeed in my goal.

The newspaper reporters hold up their mini-tape recorders, and write frantically trying to keep up. They want to make sure they have a full transcript of this event for their stories.

Jake Starr: But wait... There's more... You see once Runexten ran and cried like the piece of garbage he is... Rob Hardy succeeded him. He, the man who is a walking morality check, had the audacity... The nerve... The gaul... To contest what I said?! Yeah right! I'm sorry Robbie Swallows... You have NO RIGHTS at all trying to pull stunts like that on me. You are a man who doesn't even know the simplest meaning of the word moral. You are a disgrace... And the way I portrayed you is pretty damn accurate. If you think walking around being called a cum-guzzling, gutter slut, is embarrassing... Take a look in the mirror. You'll realize that being called that is more of a compliment than what you really are.

The murmur in the crowd is almost a dull roar. Nobody knows why Jake Starr is lashing out as he is when he knows that he could get in even deeper trouble by doing so.

Jake Starr: ... And it even gets better! From there, Mr. Michael Wayne... A man who obviously loves to stick his nose, among other things, into other people's business, decides he is going to issue me a warning. A warning that, in my opinion, is worth about as much as a crust-filled, hole-laden, tube sock, on eBay. How much you ask? It's not worth a damn thing. Michael Wayne used this little "warning system" as a scare tactic. Plain and simple... He knows that if I take the bait of his threat, ACW will continue to be a place where he controls what goes on. It will remain a place where he dictates who is face, heel, tweener, hating this guy one week, sucking this guy's cock the next... That's the kind of power he wants. Well Michael Wayne... Your little power trip doesn't fly over with me. You said it yourself... You said you got where you are by being professional. Answer me this... Professional what?! A professional puppet master, who only gives breaks to those people who suck a mighty fine penis? I would believe that... You're not a "professional" in the sense you tried to make it seem. If you were... You would already know that it is IMPARATIVE that you allow the WRESTLERS to be themselves. But alas... You think that as the "big cheese," you make the wrestlers what they are. You think that it is YOU who makes those wrestlers famous. WRONG AGAIN PENCIL D!CK! You're currently batting ZERO... It is the fans who make the wrestler.

Some reporters have given up trying to write along with the superstar. They, in turn, decide to take notes on issues they may want to ask questions about. They also just sit back and listen. They have given up assuming what may come next.

Jake Starr: My proof of that... You're wretched, putrid, pathetic, attempt to throw me over as a heel wrestler. You knew I was one of those wrestlers who was admired and loved by the fans. So what better idea... Let's team Jake Starr, the most popular guy in ACW right now, with a group of heels, against a group of face wrestlers who have let me spray my man chowder all over their faces. Bad idea again Wayne... You see... I'm not going along with your little game plan. I make sure the fans KNOW what has happened. Why? Because I know they made me who I am. And I am NOT afraid of admitting it. Without them... There would be no Jake Starr. There would be no "Impact Player"... I would have no career without them. So you're feeble attempts at making me alienate those who have made me have gone down the drain. Doesn't it just make you want to cry Michael? Your perfect plan has been foiled by... By... ME! So get it through your thick skull Michael Wayne... You want an apology for that promo? FORGET IT! I have nothing to be sorry about. You and your two ambiguously gay friends need to lighten up. Revisit your respective childhoods... Try to find that stage of development when you learn to have a sense of humor. If you'd like... I'll get you the number of Sigmund Freud and maybe he can explain how your lack of humor is based on your over abundance of sexual contact with male partners. I'll make sure to provide the number later!

Jake folds up the paper he was reading from, signaling the end of his prepared statement.

Jake Starr: ... Now I will be happy to take questions from you guys... You...

Reporter 1: Jake... How do you feel this continual, verbal, lashings will effect your match on Monday?

Jake Starr: Oh it is inevitable that Michael Wayne is going to find some way, shape, or form, to screw us over. He won't let us win. I mean did you hear the comments he made after Mr. WS's latest promo? He praised the guy! He said how funny it was. That shows that this corporation, albeit a small one at that, is corrupted and plays obvious favoritism. It's like I said... You don't suck the right cock... You don't get the benefits! Next...

Reporter 2: Jake... I represent the gay community here today...

Jake Starr: Oh lord here we go...

Reporter 2: No... In fact I am here today to say that you have our full, and undivided support.

Jake Starr: I do?!

Reporter 2: Yes... Your promo and talk show, although it did mock us, bared no resemblance at all to our people. We, unlike the members of ACW, took it in jest and urge you to continue to fight for your cause.

Jake Starr: Umm... Thanks... I think...

Reporter 2: It is a compliment... Now onto my question... You say that you believe that you will be screwed over in this match. In what way do you see it happening?

Jake Starr: Probably not in the same way they'd like but...

There is a slight giggle from the audience.

Jake Starr: In all actuality... I expect them to approach us and ask us to job to the group of @$$ kissers. And when we refuse... They'll threaten us with our jobs. And when that happens... We threaten them with their livelihood!

The reporters continue to write the notes about what Jake Starr says. Another reporter stands up to ask his question.

Jake Starr: ... Yes... You....

Reporter 3: Jake, with the threat of your career on the line, have you done any thinking as to what you may do after that?

Jake Starr: Honestly... If Michael Wayne does that, it will be the biggest mistake of his life. Like I said... Losing me will cause the ACW to lose everything. But to directly answer your question... Yes I have given it some thought. And I do have a plan of action in the off chance that he does make, yet another, dumb mistake.

Reporter 3: Jake, if I may ask a follow-up?

Jake Starr: Sure go ahead...

Reporter 3: You've made several references to the possibility that you'll take action against the ACW, should they do something to you. Can you give us any details on what that may be?

Jake Starr: Well I will say this much. If Michael Wayne tries, or even succeeds, in d!cking us over this Monday night, the ACW will be crippled tremendously. I hold the future of the ACW in my hands. Should they try to do anything to ruin my career here, I WILL deliver a blow to the ACW that is so extreme, so heinous, and so volatile, that it would cease to exist after that.

Reporter 3: Can you, or will you, comment any further?

Jake Starr: Oh sure why not... The ACW's life lies in my hands. I have orchestrated one of the single-most devastating things anyone could imagine, or fathom. I won't say what... Because that is my ultimate trump card. Michael Wayne should be warned that the ACW is on life support. And the plug is in my hands. They make one wrong move... I'm pulling the plug... And ACW will become history. Do I care? NO! Why don't I care? Because these guys would have brought this demise on themselves. I didn't come here to destroy ACW. But if that is what needs to be done to cleanse these waters... I'll be more than happy to do it.

Another reporter rises...

Jake Starr: Yes you...

Reporter 4: Should the fans of ACW be concerned about anything?

Jake Starr: The fans of ACW should begin to look towards other federations. This piece of crap is going down in flames. I'm the one who's running the show ultimately. I pick when it dies. The fans, which I love dearly, don't deserve the run-around in which they have been dealing with for God only knows how long. It's been a waste of their time... They deserve to see talent. They don't deserve to see cock-sucking, anal raping, cum drooling, jack-offs getting all of the deals. So I will reiterate my point again... Michael Wayne... If you DARE screw us out of our win on Monday... Kiss the ACW goodbye.

"Pr0t0typ3" Shawn Wright steps up to Jake Starr and speaks into the microphone.

Shawn Wright: Ok folks... We have time for one... Maybe two more questions. You ma'am...

Reporter 5: Jake, do you have any personal animosity towards the people whom you have been talking about here today?

Jake Starr: Personal animosity? I would say... F_CK YEAH! Let's start with Rob Hardy... The guy smokes weed... F_cks male prostitutes... And then eats his own feces. I'm sorry I see that as STUPID... Yes Rob I called you STUPID again... And everyone like you is STUPID TOO. Runexten... He is the biggest titty baby in the ACW. He can't get 2 inches away from Michael Wayne's, lactating, breast, before he's b!tching about something else. I guess he likes those kinds of things. I don't know... I quit asking questions a long time ago. And as for Michael Wayne... The "Wrestling Nazi" himself... The man who orchestrates every male gang bang backstage... All of these qualities that these men possess I despise. They all deserve to have their d!cks hung from trees branches while drunk, horny, Seamen, from the US Navy, parade around them squirting jizz in their hair. So yeah... I think I have a little personal animosity.

Shawn Wright approaches the microphone one more time...

Shawn Wright: Ok final question... You...

Reporter 6: Jake, do you have any final words to say before you leave?

Jake Starr: Wow that's a real tough question. Did you think that one up on your own? Just kidding man... Yeah I want everyone to get their tape recorders real close. I want the pencils and pens on the paper... And I want those television cameras up real close to me. Michael Wayne... Rob Hardy... Runexten... If you three think that you guys will be able to make the ACW survive after what I plan on doing... You're DEAD WRONG! Your careers will end just like the ACW. So be warned... You f_ck with me and my brother... You'll wish to God way up in Heaven... That he'd kill you himself. Because the pain... The suffering... The demonic actions... Will be what you wish you never had experienced in your life.

One reporter quickly blurts out...

Reporter 7: Jake is this a threat?

Jake walks up to the podium really quickly...

Jake Starr: No my friends... IT'S A PROMISE! Better yet... A GUARANTEE!

Shawn Wright: Alright folks... Jake has to leave so I appreciate you all coming. Have a safe drive back to your stations and bureaus... G'night!

Jake quickly exits the stage, the same way he entered. The cameras flash frantically as he leaves. He stops at the edge of the curtain and solutes the reporters, as they are also fans of his. He gets a cocky grin upon his face, obviously about the promise he issued to Michael Wayne, Rob Hardy, and Runexten. He disappears behind the curtain, as does Bane, and "Pr0t0typ3" Shawn Wright. Many wonder what this "promise" could be. And if it will really happen. Could one man destroy everything the ACW has accomplished? If he does... He'll live on in infamy for many years as the man who destroyed an empire.

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